The Inner Circle

Adventure & Mischief

2012-01-25T08:39:00.007-05:00

Chinaman's hat on Oahu....Do you have the nerve to swim it? I did....I was rewarded with a rainbow on my swim back....March 2004.

I have noticed that many of my friends and acquaintances have forgotten some of their dearest friends as they have walked the path of life.

Who are these friends? Ah, they are cousins to your other friends Faith, Hope and Love.

Their names are Adventure and Mischief. You know them but it is likely that you are afraid to acknowledge them.

Ah, what a mistake.

How can you get them back in your life. Easily...

First and foremost you have to leave your house. Yes, the four walls can afford adventure but not the kind I know you crave.

Well...Turn off the TeeVee and let your creative mind wander. Listen to Mischief. Let it be your guide just for a little bit.

Damn, wouldn't it be fun to go out and have a banana split for dinner? But it is Tuesday! Who cares? Take your best friend and get the hell out of the house. This is an opportunity!

Get a call at 4 am to go tuna fishing? Yes. GO!!!!!

Surf up on a Sunday morning? Do it! Raise hell while you are at it.

Get in your vehicle and punch "winery" into your Garmin early on a Saturday morning. But I don't like wine you say....Who cares, go and learn something. Leave your expectations at the door. It will be fabulous.

If your child or loved one approaches you with an idea or possibility say YES. Take the time. Do it. I don't care how absurd it sounds. Get up and do it...Laser tag on a Wednesday night? Why not? Have 6 Krispy Kremes at 10 pm with your child at their request? Make it so....silly adventures are a lifetime memory.

Concert on a Monday night? Absolutely.

Have no money? Adventure and mischief don't care. GO for a walk on a trail you have never seen. Go swim in the ocean. Go hike the trails, visit a museum, make something crazy and different for lunch and eat it outdoors. Play in the snow in the middle of the night!!!! Pick up a Jellyfish! Do what scares you....

What about mischief? Ahhh that is the turbo charger to adventure. Be careful. Mischief can spell trouble. It takes adventure out of bounds. I am dear friends with mischief. Yes I am. I love Mischief so much.

Illegally drive your golf cart on the beach all the way to a restaurant in the winter. Step on the gas and go 120 miles an hour....Race around the curves as if you were AJ Foyt himself. Throw stuff at cars and run like hell. Turn the water off while your beloved takes a shower....anything, anything just to let you feel alive again and again.

Text your friends and have an instant picnic in a small park by your home. Do it. I know it is Thursday Evening. Do it.

You love and miss adventure. You crave it as we all do. Remember what it was like when you had the time of your life and it came to you with no expectations? You do, I know you do.

These times were born of adventure and mischief.

"No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should've been paying attention." - Chuck Palahniuk

Do not become that quote. You will regret it.

I wish for you to find adventure once again. You can include anyone at anytime.

Crawl out of the box and take a bite out of the world. You will be thankful you did.

Life isn't about the stuff...It is about the adventure.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Love

2012-01-10T11:44:00.007-05:00

When my daughter gazed into my eyes for the first time; I finally understood what it meant to love unconditionally.

One could write novel after novel about this subject and never completely cover everything love entails.

Perhaps the purest form of motivation comes from love and being loved.

Imagine loving what you do for a living? Wow, you love it and you get paid. Holy smokes! I love my job and it meets the criteria of being financially rewarding and something I love.

Any avocational pursuits? Maybe you love golf. Maybe you love to collect stamps. Maybe you love music. Boy isn't it nice to know you can enjoy a past time that you love?

How about love in dire circumstances? Oh, do you mean would I take a bullet for someone I love? Absolutely, without hesitation.

Is love selfish? I can paint a scenario that will help you with the concept.

So... Two kids are drowning in the water. One is yours and the other is someone else's. Which one will you save? Oh, I know the answer bothers you but back in the real world you wouldn't think twice. You would save your kid first without hesitation which is why I never put myself in that position with my daughter or her friends at the beach.

Someone else will save the other kid so don't feel bad. This is just a discussion steeped in reality.

Are there people who depend on you that you love? Well, this "love" is going to propel you to superhuman feats you never knew you could achieve. You can stay up for days taking care of your sick child without blinking an eye. You can work 500 days straight if it means a better life for your family and you have the vision. You will step up to do things unimaginable without hesitation.

You cannot possess love. You can try but it only extinguishes its flame.

Love is a gift that must be given freely without condition. You cannot measure it nor control any part of it. You can tend to it however much like a gardener tends their plants. Lots of water and sunlight and attention will allow love to blossom forever. Neglect will cause it to wilt and if you are not careful, it could die.

Bobby, is love risky? Totally. When you open your heart to another it is always risky. You can and will get annihilated. We all carry scars from love lost. I carry the scars from deceased loved ones. I carry the scars from love gone wrong too. Horrible scars.

Maybe a better question would be...Is it worth it?

Well, imagine not caring about anything or anyone. What kind of life is that?

I have good news. There is love in abundance and it is out there waiting for you in all kinds of beautiful places.

I say these things with love for we are bound together by the fragile thread of our humanity.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Check my brain

2012-01-09T09:37:00.003-05:00

My baby will be 21 in February. She loves me so much.

It is with great delight to inform you that I do not care for this season at all.

While our winters are mild I still want to live in a place that avoids the crappy seasons. Winter being the king daddy of crappy.

*Changing gears*

My daughter is witnessing one of her best childhood friends go through the agony of drug abuse. She has intervened with his friends and family and they are scared for him and sending him to detox.

I'm afraid he isn't ready.

Some of my friends made it through. Some died horrible deaths. In the end it is up to them.
Sometimes the drug will put you out of your misery.

I am a musician and am well aware of the "Sex, Drugs & Rock-n-Roll" lifestyle. I never lived it. I just wanted to sing and play guitar.

Living at the tip of the spear folks will get you killed. I'll say a prayer for anyone you know who suffers with addictions of any sort. They truly live in hell and crawling out of that hole takes a village.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Path

2012-01-06T11:06:00.005-05:00

"There is a difference in knowing the path and walking the path" - Morpheus

That would pretty much sum it up. I have explored new paths and have grown all of my life as a result. In every case I already knew where the path would lead.

In this case I have seen the path but have never entered into it before. I never expected to find myself on it.

Here I am.

I am not sure where it leads but I am drawn to it for reasons beyond my control. Make no mistake I have chosen this path but in some weird way it has chosen me too. I cannot completely see where it leads.

I only choose paths that lead to fulfillment. I am comforted by this thought.

For now just walk with me. I can't tell you where we are going but I will need you to illuminate the way when the time comes.

Peace be with you,
Bobby

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T13:44:00.003-05:00

Fiona checking on the tree Dec 23rd 2011....

May the Spirit of Christmas be with you and those you love.

I am grateful for your friendships and kindness.

You are loved.

Merry Christmas!

Bobby

I am who I am but I'm still learning who that is...

2011-12-19T09:19:00.004-05:00

My favorite beach pic of all time. Even little people have a higher calling...This is my little surfer girl playing in the sand.

Am I noisy? Yes. Terribly noisy.

I LOVE firecrackers. When the spirit strikes me is when I light them off...My neighbors are aware of this phenomenon.

Um, You never know when the spirit will strike me to learn that Foo Fighters drum riff...I love playing the drums.

Electric guitar? It could descend upon you at anytime. If I am angry, depressed or happy it comes through my hands.

Changing gears....

Picky? Not so much. I'm always happy to have something to eat. I can take care of myself. I really can. I just don't need a lot of weird unnecessary stress. Unnecessary stress and drama give me heart trouble because I internalize my feelings.

I think I'll start living by the sword. This way I know I will die by the sword.

I like the way that sounds. I really do....

Christmas? Oh my. Don't get me started. I don't want anything. It really isn't about the gifts as far as I am concerned but it some how winds up going in that direction.

My father is addicted to Vicodin (2 years). I just found out last week. He admits he needs treatment but is fearful of the pain he will endure as he gets rid of the monkey on his back. I may have to go to Florida for a week as he goes through the withdrawals.... It simply is what it is. He is not himself on that medicine. I am not happy.

I have a value conflict that is weighing heavily on my mind. It has several parts and unfortunately there is a lot in the balance.

As we all know value conflicts are rarely resolvable...Tangible conflicts yes, Values no....

My life has taken a turn and I'm not sure where it leads. I am compelled to follow the road but do not have a clue as to the destination. It is business and yet it is personal as well. I would call this a "quality problem". Quality problems arise when great opportunities surface that you did not expect.

Changing gears....

Where was I? Oh yes....Noisy. I am a noisy man...

I even snore at times.

May the Spirit of Christmas be with you and those you love!

Peace,

Bobby

Formula

2011-12-08T12:54:00.006-05:00

Be + Do = Have

Crazy formula. If you come from nothing then this is pretty much the formula you have to build your empire.

Simply put.

Be ='s engaging in the activities which you would expect to do in an effort to eventually become your vision. Want to be a successful businessperson? Start acting like one. Good Father? Act like one. Have vision and play the part as if it already was in your own fabric. You will eventually become what your actions make of you.

Do ='s the part where you must put into action what it is you wish to become. Let's face it; I'll never be a pro surfer but I can dream. I still do these things because they are a part of a happy successful life. Do the things necessary to insure you will be successful. Want to be a doctor? Better crack the books and go through medical school....Etc...Do I want to make a lot of money? I better do something I love that is financially rewarding. That is always the caveat.

Have ='s the sum of the first two components. Have love? You must have loved somewhere first and played the part. Eventually you became the part so you REALLY have love. Start with yourself and work outwards.

You can apply this concept over and over again and more often than not it will work. Don't take my word for it but be open to the possibility I could be correct.

Fulfillment comes as you engage in these activities while you walk the path of life.

Focus on your Friends, Family, Faith and Health. You will need all of them to be successful.

Don't punish yourself either. The world will give you all you the punishment you can take.

Worry about being judged? Forget it.

You will show the world who you are as they watch your commitments.

You can see the commitment of a drug addict as clearly as you can see the love a parent has for their child. There is no real hiding from this fact. You will be judged not on your efforts but the results of your efforts.

Just remember that if you are loved you will never be a failure.

Failure is just a word. Failure doesn't care if you worry about it either.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Success is found within.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

2011-12-01T14:31:00.003-05:00

This is a very short walk from my home...The beach is beautiful in the winter as well...

It is the first day of Summer in Australia.

Where the hell am I? Freezing to death in this awful Winter Weather. 50 degrees Sheesh!!!

Switching gears...

Years ago, I would get chewed out by EVERYONE for surfing alone. You know the whole concept of the buddy system? Not a bad idea. I just like to be alone in the water sometimes. Sorry....I still am guilty.

I discovered my daughter doing the same thing when she turned 16.

Me: Did you just Ace (Surf Alone) that session?
Kel-Puf: Yes Daddy, it was epic...

Me: F@*kin Aye Kid!!! Are you F***ing crazy?! I didn't realize you went alone. What the hell were you thinking?
Kel-Puf: I just had to go Daddy...It was gnarfinkle.

Time to gravitate this into a Biblical parable even though I am a lowly sinner at best.

"Ah, Lord Jehovah! You have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and stretched out arm. Nothing is too great for You. You show loving-kindness to thousands, and repay the iniquity of the fathers into the bosom of their sons (children) after them." - Jeremiah Chapter 32 Verse 17-18

Does this apply to us?

Perhaps, although as many folks who paraphrase the Bible this would be taken way out of context as well.

Something to think about however. One thing is for sure.

My daughter is the girly version of me....UGH!!!!

Peace be the keeper,

Bobby

Fall

2011-11-29T17:02:00.005-05:00

I'm all alone and the house is quiet. Fortunately I have my cat and my dog along with a gaggle of guitars to keep me company.

I seem to have lost my voice and returning to this spot only creates whispers and even smaller glimpses of my life.

I am lost in my own thoughts.

I am reminded of death as I see the leaves falling on the ground. My Christmas spirit is slow to start.

I have always had dreams you know. I always know where I am going. Until now.

I stand at yet another fork in the road of life. I am afraid yet full of anticipation.

I just don't know where I am going from one day till the next.

Won't you come and save me?

I miss my grandfather.

Peace be with you,
Bobby

Paralyzed

2011-11-25T13:59:00.005-05:00

My flaming golf cart of eternal doom. It rolls on the beach like a champ!!!!

So are you in love?

Yes..yes I am.

Snap out of it boy...

I can't. I won't.

And then I woke up....

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Elvis

2011-11-18T08:05:00.003-05:00

So, we had two days of services to honor my friend Bob.

Bob really liked to socialize. He had been through things that would break mere mortals into pieces. He had a purple heart and a bronze star pinned to his chest. In his youth he spent a month in the hospital over in Viet Nam followed by 2 months in Hawaii followed by a year in Portsmouth Naval.. Viet nam did things to him that I cannot fathom...Never once did he cry out in pain or complain while he was sick. In the end, his mind was COMPLETELY intact but his body gave way in what I would constitute as the absolute worst death I have ever witnessed.

My prayer was for mercy.

Anyhow, we had his memorial service last night followed by a wine reception in his home and it was absolutely lovely. His wife Sandra had gospel music played over the speaker system by Elvis. I forgot how he could really sing. His house was packed and the wine kept flowing. What a lovely memorial!

Switching gears...

I have the urge to spend some time alone in the water. It sure is cold (58 degrees) but that is why wetsuits were invented. I just want to clear my head. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll even catch a few waves.

Uh better skip it...I just checked the S Turns and the swell is 5 feet tomorrow morning but the sets come every 7 seconds. Lame....

I guess I'll take a bike ride at Seashore State park instead.

Fall for me is a time of death. I lose more friends and family in this time than every other season combined. I recognize that death is a part of life.

I carry many scars from lost relationships due to this "death" thing.

Fall just amplifies the pain.

I have been to three funerals this fall. I remember seeing these folks in the summer.

If I knew then what I know now.

Life is precious and so very beautiful. Enjoy each day.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Hit the deck

2011-11-14T08:31:00.002-05:00

Well, my buddy Bob finally let go and moved on to the next dimension.

Life had been good for him over these last several years. Living on machines must have been pure hell. I can't imagine having all my ability to think only to be locked up on a ventilator and fed through a tube.

I lost two folks last week. One killed herself tragically on Monday (horrible story complete with police standoff) afternoon and Bob simply peeled off.

This week? I have two funeral services to attend.

I think I'll take a walk on the beach after my workout today. The temps are in the low 70's for the next few days....

I am reminded of how much I despise fall and winter.

Yes of course I like the different seasons, I just like to skip the crappy ones...Fall and winter are not my friend...

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Weekly Update

2011-11-08T10:49:00.005-05:00

Alan, me and Serena with our newest cousin "Angel"

Me and my Niece Leila Saturday.

The sushi layout on Friday night. There is nothing to eating raw fish. Making your own is very easily done....

Hmmm, This is what it has come to isn't it?

A weekly update for now. One of these days I'll be more inclined to write like I once did.

For now I'll spit it out in bullets.

1) Friday Night was Sushi night. We received some FRESH Yellow fin Tuna and couldn't resist.

2) Saturday? My cousin flew into town and we went to an oyster roast/chili cook off complete with three kegs of beer. I wound up at another keg party and then back to our house. I think our last house guest left around 2 am. I managed to put a big ass scratch on my golf cart driving it on the beach! UGH! Wild ass night to say the least. The band was fantastic.

3) Sunday? Hmmm... We went to Nags Head to christen my newest cousin. Sitting in church was a real treat after the shenanigans we pulled Saturday night. We came home, had dinner and....one of our guests received a call that her house had been struck by a car. We all scrambled and went over to her house. Nothing says OMG like seeing a car stuck on your home...

Living with me is not easy...

Monday? I Sent my cousin back home and after work I visited my friend who could die any minute. On the drive back from the hospital I heard a news report that one of my friends killed herself after a police standoff. Tragic. Her Fiance stood her up yesterday at the Justice of the Peace and it was the last straw. She shot at him and then eventually turned the gun on herself. The news fails to mention this little factoid however. I'm very shook up about this honestly.

Today? I'm just remembering how precious life is. I voted this morning and got a hug and kiss from the Senator's wife. I banged his ears on Saturday because I'm getting called for FEDERAL jury duty in 2012.

We have a post election party tonight at the clubhouse.

At the rate things are going summer will be here tomorrow....

UGH!

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Wednesday Shenanigans

2011-11-02T10:19:00.007-04:00

She took my Taylor Acoustic and now she wants to take this Custom Shop Stratocaster and my Mesa Boogie Amp. The hits keep on coming. The guitar was born Sept 17th 1994. The Color is Dick Dale Chartreuse Sparkle. Yuk...Sounds awesome however...Thank Science she didn't come after my PRS guitars.

Hmmm,

Mostly an update so I'll spit it out in bullets.

1) Friday we had live music at the clubhouse. The artist was visiting her father from NYC and I booked her. I sang two songs with her. Her daddy came and played with her the first set. We later went to two after parties and got in bed by 3am. UGH!

2) Saturday - We had a Halloween progressive party. We dressed up as the Spartan Cheerleaders from SNL and even had 7 different cheers down cold. Our friends would blow a whistle and we would break out into a skit for 30-45 seconds while everyone watched. Hilarious. Two more after parties made bedtime around 2am...

3) Sunday - Finished working on the rental and will be glad when they move in tomorrow.

Monday - 219 Trick or treaters. This is down from last year at 287. We get blown away every year and I love it.

4) One of my friends is on death's door. This is the worst death I have ever witnessed. Imagine having all of your faculties but having your body shut down all around you. One bullet to the back of my head please...I would beg for it. Those Vietnam veterans are uber tough. Pray for mercy. His name is Bob. I'm gonna miss him terrible.

5) Swimming laps today.

6) We (Our neighborhood social committee) have an Oyster roast on Saturday and 260 people have RSVP'd. We have live outdoor music a massive chili cook off and more food than you can shake a stick at. Gonna be crazy! This gets bigger and bigger every year.

6) My cousin is flying his plane to Norfolk on Saturday to join us and will also join me going to the OBX on Sunday.

7) Sunday we are traveling to the Outer Banks to see my other cousin who just had her 3rd baby. We are going to the christening. Between you and me if the surf is up I will see them at the after party. She will understand. SORRY! I will show up once the party starts. Church services don't do it for me. Now, if you want to come to my church then you better come to the beach with me.

8)My new Android phone is very different than my Iphone4. I now have both. Learning the android system takes an adjustment but is crucial for my business. Frankly, the Galaxy s2 is much faster and the battery doesn't drain if you manage it correctly. The iphone4 is the bomb for media however.

That was a lot...*Whew*

Oh wow! My daughter is coming from Fairfax to Join us! Hooray!

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Stuff

2011-10-27T09:03:00.007-04:00

Even 9 years ago my kid was wailing on my equipment. She now has taken my best acoustic guitar and is eying my electrics. She is becoming a monster on the guitar. Her vocals are already 1000 times better than mine. I am happy...

You know many of us post our innermost thoughts in this place.

If you or anyone else posts I can assure you that your posts are kept private and treated with the utmost respect.

I get sick when some of you call it quits on your journals. Reading about your thoughts, hopes, dreams , successes and failures gives me great inspiration and hope.

I'll make every effort to resume in due time.

For now Temperance (my niece) is growing and thriving. We all have our health and our careers are in full bloom.

I still enjoy the little things each and every day.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Fulfillment

2011-10-18T13:04:00.006-04:00

The search for fulfillment seems like a lifelong pursuit.

I have always chosen my paths wisely. I constantly think about the longevity of my activities.

Soccer is all but gone. I am still good at playing pick up soccer but the days of competitive soccer are long gone. I am now a coach but won't come out of semi-retirement until I am asked to address a specific need. American Football? Forget it. Soccer of any kind? While I don't watch TV I can assure you the Fox soccer channel is running constantly in the evening even if I'm not always looking. It is a beautiful game.

Surfing. *Sigh* You know, I surf with my buddies/daughter who are way younger than I am and have noticed that they sure do schlep a lot more gear than I do. Kinda nice to know that the old man is still included. Hatteras Island is completely wrecked. I have been hitting parts of North 12 and have yet to see most of the destruction that is part of South 12.

Guitar - Oh, I'm every bit as good as I was in my teens and 20's. Hell I hit my stride in my 30's and haven't looked back. Am I rusty? sort of. It is easy to fix, just get in another band and away we go....Live work is so much more interesting than studio work.

Pick your spots. Yep, I have to pick my spots. If I am exercising like a maniac then I have to go lighter on chores or things of that sort. I once had an endless tank and now that is not necessarily true. Coming to grips with this concept is similar to the same concept of retiring from sports. It plays tricks with your head.

My daughter is almost fully grown. I will always be her father.

This may be the only constant I have in my entire universe.

I'm standing in front of a big crossroad in my life.

Time to think about what is next....

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Mistakes

2011-10-03T12:29:00.004-04:00

Loubelle the Garden Spider. She has been with us since late summer. Gorgeous Spider!

Ugh! I cannot stand fall weather. Put on your wetsuit to go surfing, UGH! Now the wizard is making fun of me for whining about the water.

Nothing says I'm freezing worse than having a tan and then getting hit with 57 degree weather. I suppose it could be worse.

No running for me. I'm happily rehabbing Achilles tendonitis. Blech!

I have been around Blogspot but my engagement has been rather limited. There are times when you feel like posting and then there are times where you don't have the inspiration. I once posted every week day.

Certainly I have a lot to say. I still have my sense of humor...

Mistake #1 - Discussing politics with my wife's aunt. Ahhhh S**t!

Mistake #2 - Discussing religion with my closed minded, guilt laden Christian friends. Even Worse. I would do better negotiating with my radical Muslim acquaintances. *Whew*

Mistake #3- Talking about taking physical risks with my father. He is such a puss. He may as well hop around in a circle and live in a bubble.

Mistake #4- Not taking a real vacation this year. Big mistake and now my mind is warped.

Mistake #5- Big one. I regret all the live music opportunities I have turned down.

Mistake #6 - Oh, I still dream about "that" girl at times...Ha! It worked out for the better however...

Success comes with a fair share of mistakes and I'm willing to live with these mistakes. Show me someone who has never made a mistake and I'll show you someone who has never tried.

Will I make some more mistakes? Hell, the day is young. Of course I will...

Peace be with you and those you love.

Bobby

The Wizard

2011-09-20T09:42:00.004-04:00

A sacred place from my childhood. I would come here on Sunday mornings to contemplate life when I was a teenager.

I saw him on Sunday.

He was riding his long skateboard with his two daughters following close on their two wheeled scooters.

Before the Wizard disappeared last time he was seen with his daughters at the Hello Kitty store. A befitting venue.

The Wizard has long curly hair and a beard.

The Wizard is my friend. I cannot imagine what he had to endure last time he went away. He lost a lot of friends over the summer. You read about it in the news and already forgot the story.

He never talks about when he comes and goes. He just pops in and out of our lives.

Listening to his stories en route to our surfing trips reminds me that he will have nightmares forever.

You would look at him and never know.

For some he is the boogie man incarnate. For others? Just another surfer dude...

I'm just glad to have him back.

Peace be the keeper.

Bobby

Concept vs. Reality

2011-09-14T08:44:00.006-04:00

My baby sister (Holly) who I absolutely adore.

I imagine the concept of living with me must be rather interesting. I am active and get wrapped up quickly.

I love to play music, water sports, soccer and any kind of shenanigans that would make you laugh.

Conceptually, being a musician is interesting. In reality, the muse can strike me almost any time. I might have to work out a guitar riff, drum riff or bass riff in the middle of a movie and there is no waiting till the movie is over. I'm always on call to play with several bands or do studio work for my brother. Lovely. There is no "putting a lid" on me with music. Being banished or told when it is appropriate will never happen.

Do you like to listen to me play and sing at a bar? Oh, how nice...Listen to me as I learn the song at 12am on a Tuesday night? Uh...You're killing me....

Surf is up? WHAT? Oh, the concept is so cool! Here is the reality.... Really good surf causes you to ditch almost everything in a hurry. I can call my buddy (Doctor buddy no less) and he will ditch everything to make the trip. My kid has the disease. We can do ANYTHING you want so long as you come with us to surf today. 4wheelin' on the beach is just as fun if you get air born! Nurse Ratchet is terrified of the surf and super deep water. She also FLIPS out when we get air born.

Sports cars. One of these days when I get a ticket I'm going to jail. Just a fact. Counter measures in my state are illegal but then again there are counter measures for that as well. I have no tickets. I should but I don't.

Work. Ahhh...Those lines are blurry. I can literally work all the time everyday. My job is so dynamic it is pitiful. One minute you are minding your own business and the next minute you are in full blown panic mode because you are incidentally involved in a catastrophe just announced somewhere around the globe.

The real estate? Conceptually it is nice. In reality it is thankless hard work. The attire is different as well. Humanity is interesting. I am handy for whatever that is worth...

Arguments? I usually have my mind made up so if you want to make a point and conclude then I'll listen. Two sentences. If you want to drone on for a long time then I'll pretend to listen and then conclude with "Are you done?" and go about my business.

I am thoughtful and compassionate. I always expect the best. I can't stand snobs although I have been told by more than one family member that I have an arrogant air about me. Snobs light me up the worst. I was a "have not" growing up.

I am not above dumpster diving by the way. My latest acquisition happens to be two virtually new fluorescent camping lanterns. They came in handy during the hurricane.

Charity? I'm on the board of Directors for a large Foundation. I'm the guy you pitch with your idea. I'll let you know if your idea is in the spirit of our Foundation. Volunteerism, Quality of life, Arts and Music as it applies to our immediate community are the focus. I spend a lot of time with this, lots and lots of time. I'm stunned by how kind and thoughtful people are and am honored to be part of many wonderful charities.

My wife? Well, she is beautiful, smart and very driven. We are different. I surf, she skis. I play soccer, she does Field Hockey. She is in medicine. I'm in business. I am on the finance side of charity, she is the spokesperson for her charity.

We are both very strong personalities.

Neither of us are perfect.

My favorite saying? "Are you ready? Lets GO!!!!!"

I have not watched syndicated TV over the last 30 some odd years. A complete waste of time.

I'm slightly touched. I am real, full of flaws and comfortable in my own skin.

I am loved. By virtue of that fact alone I know I will never be a failure.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Sacked

2011-09-08T11:29:00.004-04:00

Man this phone call I received this morning was AWFUL.

I just listened to the fate of a manager for a National Brokerage firm.

I think she makes 175,000 annual base salary and then maybe does 150,000 in production over that figure.

Anyhow, they are offering my friend 500,000 to come over, bring his book of business (which is very good) and take her 175,000 a year base salary. I don't see him lasting more than three years because nobody does. He makes a great living without having the salary.

She will get one days notice. If it isn't him it will be someone else.

Of course they will post the job two weeks in advance publicly and let her know she is going to be let go the day before he takes her job. Sham!

She has no idea. Imagine that? And the worst part? She is effective in her position!

Part of me is debating on having a "little bird" tell her something so she can make other arrangements. It would be to her benefit and the benefit of her family.

I absolutely despise this kind of stuff.

What ever happened to integrity and honesty, especially toward your fellow co-worker and human being?

Crunching the numbers at first glance gives you something to consider. A half million bucks is a nice signing bonus and the salary is not too shabby either. Of course if you can tack on an extra 150,000 to 250,000 a year in earnings that doesn't hurt. The stock options are attractive.

It isn't about the money at some point. This is about karma.

If you live by the sword you will most certainly die by it.

I feel awful for this person who most certainly has no idea it is coming.

Big corporate sucks. In this case they REALLY suck.

Welcome to my other world!

Peace,
Bobby

Whiners, complainers and lazy folks.

2011-09-07T10:00:00.005-04:00

A less than fortunate aftermath of Hurricane Irene. It even blew the Sand tiger shark ashore. Hello Fall!

I have a rental property business which is 180 degrees different than my stock brokerage business.

Wow!

I'm sick and tired of snaking the drains for one of my tenants. It never is their fault (they have no idea why the drains get clogged) BUT they have lived in two of my houses and have caused me to snake the drains on 7 occasions. Uh, common denominator? Look no further....I'm charging them! Do they have the money? If they would cut out the cigarettes and booze then the answer is yes.

Absolutely nasty.

I got called out on Sunday night to snake a sewer system that didn't need snaking. Makes me pretty damn mad and I am over it. WTF?

How about parking on the lawns? This makes me blow my stack. While it is rare I catch them every once in awhile. Christ, these places have extremely long driveways that will accommodate 10 cars! What is it with the lawn?

I pay all my bills on time and I make sure my payment is received. My tenants? Um, if I don't come collect I'll never get paid. WTF?

I am working on the inside of one house and need my tenant to move the furniture so I can have the carpet steam cleaned. Did they move it? Uh, no....Thanks a lot. Did they take the stuff off the walls so I could paint it? Nope. Hi, please help me help you.

I'm sick of the business. I'm sick of getting (inane calls) every holiday. No, I'm not going to turn this over to a local manager. Most of them are incompetent and could give a crap about my costs of maintenance.

I put on crummy clothes and am the maintenance guy. The paint contractor, the carpenter, the electrician etc.

Fortunately, they have no idea where or how I live.

This hurricane has created a lot of extra work for me.

Another reason I despise fall. Don't get me started...

I have to count to ten and realize this is a part of the business. My least favorite business I might add.

I will count my blessings. I realize this is a problem worth having.

I think I need a vacation.

I'm going to the mountain this weekend. I need some peace and quiet.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Summer

2011-08-31T10:25:00.005-04:00

Me on my beach right before Irene arrived.

Summer 2011 is drifting away from me slowly.

I sure did have a lot of stress during this summer.

Temperance (my Niece) was born June 4th with all kinds of health problems.

I just lost one of my oldest childhood friends last Wednesday. I went to the Funeral on Monday. It seems like yesterday when we were playing baseball together and his dad was the coach.

I have another friend who is trying to die in the hospital as we speak. His prognosis is very poor.

We survived Hurricane Irene. The eye passed over us and spared us much of the devastation.

I have a small roof repair with one rental and a fence repair at another.

I'm tired. I am not exactly sure what is going on in the world.

The weather is beautiful but I can't help the feeling of loss as the summer comes to a close.

Somebody tell me a joke!

Peace be with you,
Bobby

Hand of Doom

2011-08-25T10:16:00.003-04:00

Another shot of my interview on the beach. Welcome to my home.

I don't care about the stuff really. What is important are all the memories.

We are going to catch hell over the weekend. I'm already preparing for it.

Ocracoke is my favorite place on earth and I expect it to be devastated.

My childhood friend David died in his sleep last night. I am grateful as he was miserable. I have no idea about his funeral.

My daughter leaves for college tomorrow. She is going a day early to avoid the hurricane.

I expect to be without power for a week or so once the storm hits. We are prepared and if we didn't think about it then we will improvise.

I would be lying to you if I told you I wasn't a little on edge.

I have a lot of work to do today. I expect we will be playing lumberjack all next week.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

David

2011-08-23T12:53:00.006-04:00

False Cape State Park. Peaceful before the storm...

I just received word my childhood friend David had his feeding tube removed.

David suffered with brain cancer some 15 years ago. Time has progressed. Over this period he has suffered a series of strokes and has taken as much damage as any 47 year old man can stomach.

I went to his birthday party at the beginning of the summer and he was wheelchair bound and could barely speak. His family and neighbors took him from the hospital and we had a massive party in his honor. MASSIVE!

David had another stroke earlier in the week. This one dealt him a crushing blow.

David is a wonderful friend, father and family man. Nobody wants to see him suffer any longer.

I don't pray often. I'll make an exception.

My prayer is for mercy. He is living in the minutes and they are ticking away quickly.

When he goes all I can say is that he will be missed.

The time has come to say good bye.

Peace be with you my brother.

Bobby

Housekeeping

2011-08-17T08:54:00.007-04:00

Me on the Jet ski two years ago.

My main computer died and I bought three as a replacement. Yikes! I just have to turn my former hard drive into an external hard drive. Yes, I back my files up on another external drive! *Whew*

I often write about my adventures on the water. This has been a great summer but the surfing season has been lousy. I haven't seen jellyfish any time although I understand they are abundant in the western part of the bay. The baby dogfish and sand sharks are all over the place at the moment. I'll pull one of them by the tail for you!!

My buddies daughter (Emily) swam into a Portuguese Man O War two days ago and had to be seen by the doctor. Those things are no joke and their venom is potent. They live on Hilton Head Island. I'm sure she will tell me all about when we visit in October.

I understand Krispy Kreme is building a shop about 2 miles from my house! Nice.

My daughter has an on again/off again boyfriend and I met him yesterday. I don't care for him really. In fact, I thought he was with the other girl they brought along to my office. Go figure! I think he is just passing through and I treat him like an acquaintance. I'm nice but superficial.

The stock market has calmed down somewhat. Holy Smokes, I have been busy these last three weeks!

One of my lady soccer players told me she was in a relationship with a girl. I told her I just want her to be happy and remarked that she must have known she had these feelings since she was a child. I said that her friends and family love her and this issue doesn't matter.

Switching gears...

I feel the snap of fall air when I wake up in the morning. I don't like it.

I have come to the conclusion that Football should be called "Throwball". Honestly, Football bores me to tears. I prefer watching/playing Soccer or "Football" as the rest of the world calls it.

I'm 47 years old and in the fight of my life. Growing old is not for the faint of heart. I won't complain too much. I'll save that for you on my 80th birthday!

Keep exercising and it will serve you well.

I hope this message finds you in good spirits.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Weekend Update

2011-08-15T13:26:00.006-04:00

Hmmm, Friday went well. I worked. I made some money and then went swimming in the Chesapeake Bay. I swim parallel to the jetties. This makes the water 9-25 feet deep depending on the spot. I swam for about 40 minutes and then walked back home.

Do I worry about Sharks? Ahhhh not much... One of these days I'll worry but not right now. A swimmer was chewed in Beaufort, NC this weekend on a routine jump from his boat. What bad luck....Those F**kers are more prevalent than you think.

Saturday it rained all day. Oh boy. That means I had to tackle one or two indoor projects. So...I hung some stained glass from our ceiling in the foyer. I encountered several logistical problems with my super high ceiling. To make a long story short, it took me about an hour and a half where it really should have taken me 10 minutes. I then painted a ceiling in our main house which was simple.

Nurse ratchet told me Saturday night that our main computer has died. I took it apart and of course the power supply is toast. I am so sick of messing with the damn thing that I removed the hard drive and went to the store on Sunday and bought a new desktop and two laptops. So...I wound up doing all kinds of administrative computer work on Sunday. I'll finish my work over the course of this week.

No beach this weekend. Blah...I am running today and lifting weights. Tonight My wife's aunt is coming to town and tomorrow I have no idea what will happen.

No worries, summer is alive and well. I'm ready to go surfing as soon as the waves return. It has been a relatively flat summer.

As for my wife and daughter? They are getting along much better...I understand this is normal.

UGH!!!

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Pause in my regularly scheduled programming

2011-08-09T12:00:00.004-04:00

My kid singing. Outdoor gigs rock!

Bear with me; I had to tend to some family issues (Namely issues between mother and daughter) that have kept me from writing in my journal. This sucks the life out of me.

Have you ever had the feeling you wanted to run away?

This feeling washes over me often.

I love the thought but would not like the consequences.

I suppose a trip to Hatteras is in order. A good day of surfing will clear the mind like nothing else.

My mind is all over the place.

Peace be with you,
Bobby

August

2011-08-03T14:12:00.004-04:00

My Baby Girl engaging in shenanigans while traveling with friends out of town. She is a lot of fun. My wife just shakes her head at us both...

I know, I know....

Summer is coming to a close for many of you.

I'm here to tell you that our summers last through October so our locals can quit crowing about how the fall is coming and how excited you are about "fall weather"... I do appreciate the fact that it may be your favorite season.

Summer is the season for me.

Fall and winter are like death to me. I don't want to think about wearing a jacket or shoes at the moment.

I STILL like seeing chickies in a bikini and all the nonsense that goes with the summer.

Fall brings us hurricanes. Blech. The day after a hurricane offshore brings us stellar surfing more often than not.

I'd rather cut grass than rake leaves.

Give me a good old fashioned sunburn vs freezing to death.

I have a secret to tell you although it is rather symbolic.

During the summer I run in all white.

During the winter I run in all black. I run at night in the fall/winter which makes it double dangerous.

All a reflection of my sentiments...

Everyone talks about "seasons" and how much they like the different seasons etc...

I like seasons however I like to skip the sh***y ones.

Seasonal affective disorder is a life long struggle for me. I guess I'll get ready to fight it in the coming weeks.

For now I'll simply count my blessings. Summer is still here!

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Saturday Night

2011-07-27T09:54:00.007-04:00

I have a friend who is (in my opinion) an extremely good action/band/scene photographer. He has followed many of us around the beach, at gigs and parties and has since gone professional. I have been his consultant through the process.

His business is blossoming. His wedding shots are incredible as he films all of his shoots while taking pictures.

We are blessed to some degree that he still stalks us from time to time.

This pic was of me and my beloved at the 5th and final stop of a progressive party we had in our neighborhood last Saturday.

The last stop theme was "Christmas In July" and we played Christmas Music and had all sorts of treats/drinks one would expect during Christmas.

Changing gears...

I have photographers shooting pics of my home this week as our builder has a home in my neighborhood being published in a national lifestyle magazine. Landscaping is real pain in the neck when you try to get it "just right". I am our landscaper and a stickler when it comes to shaping our lawn.

My wife is the liaison for the local TV station when it comes to events in our neighborhood and her "Circle".

We were interviewed in the local section of our newspaper last fall discussing our neighborhood. The links and photos are incredible.

When I was a little boy I dreamed of living by the beach. I also dreamed of marrying a beautiful, intelligent girl and having a family.

I dreamed of filling my life with love.

Education and hard work were my ticket for everything else that would come later in my life. I took it very seriously as I was paying for it.

I embarked on my dream when I was 12 years old. Delivering a paper route was the best lesson one could ever have in dealing with people and their business. I eventually started cutting lawns on top of doing newspapers and was able to save a lot of money.

That money paid for most of my college and I was able to graduate without any debt.

My first year in this business was augmented by working on a Christmas Tree lot and stocking shelves in a shoe store for extra money. You either sink or swim in the Stock brokerage business.

I'm now a Senior Vice President and part owner of my company.

I am also the co-owner of my own real estate business. Funny, I am also the maintenance guy for the very same company.

Everything I have in my life I have earned. Sometimes it has been a struggle. Sometimes it has been glorious. Often it has been stressful.

I look back on my life and have a few regrets but none that will haunt me forever.

I just want to make this point very clear.

I'm not a famous Rock Star or athlete. I recognize that I am average in many ways.

I'm here to tell you that if you pursue your dreams you can eventually become many of them.

I'll cheer for you along the way!

Peace be the keeper,

Bobby

Cranky Kong

2011-07-26T11:22:00.003-04:00

My kid at work this week...

Things that make me go nuts!

1) Some IDIOT who lives in the garage apartment down the street is dating my brother's ex wife. She smiled and waved at me as she drove through my neighborhood. Anyhow, I waved but screamed "OH F**K" in my car as I waved back. She is ugly both inside and out AND I worry for her new beau. She looks like the Gila monster and is just as mean.

2) Aqua Shoes on a sandy beach? Oh hell no! Why don't you just wear a Speedo and walk around the beach telling everyone you are scared of stepping on a crab. Poor Crab.

3) Is it out of tune? If your guitar, piano or tempered instrument is out of tune then I guarantee you I will lose my mind. You may as well bring Kryptonite. I'm ready to dig up Howlin' Wolf if you sing out of tune as well...

4) What in the absolute f**k are you doing with a bluetooth earphone on your head in the middle of a crowded elevator? You look like a douche nozzle. I can see it in your car BUT not in public. YOU ARE NOT BATMAN!

5) Didn't vote? Then stop whining about the current state of affairs we have in this country. *Playing the world's smallest violin*.

6) Stop asking me a bunch of questions when I'm playing the guitar. I'm trying to concentrate. Just because I'm playing and smiling doesn't mean that I want to talk this very instant. That is like me stepping in front of your movie and talking. GRRRR!

7)Say one thing and do another! I may be deaf and rather slow but if what you do doesn't match what you said then we are going to have a problem. Big Problem. I don't have time for this s**t!

8) Stop calling me or texting me in the middle of the trading day. Can't we talk about (fill in the blank) when I get a second? I'll let you know if I can talk. Who cares if Jo-Jo has been dating some guy for 5 months right now? I sure don't. I will have time just give me a few minutes or so. This is not an emergency!

9) I HATE it when some new guy comes over and talks a bunch of crap when he is obviously trying to date my daughter. Most guys are polite BUT once you burn the bridge it is not coming back. You may as well forget about it. Now go away!

10) I always hate it when someone says "They do it/this/whatever better in..." Sure they do ski better in Colorado than in West Virginia. You just don't have to say it.
Idiot!

I feel better already....

Peace be the keeper.

Bobby

Let's go

2011-07-22T11:32:00.005-04:00

Convincing Nurse Ratchet that the hike to Waterlemon Key would be worthwhile. Having her swim over the patrolling barracudas 20 yards off the beach was a little more difficult but she did it...

I'm a bit of a free spirit. Mind you, everything I do is calculated yet I still like to be spontaneous.

Nurse ratchet came home around six yesterday and during that time I went to show one of our vacant rentals after working. I came home, grilled three steaks and we all sat down to dinner.

Dinner here is much like dinner at the nuthouse and I love it because our conversations are out of control.

Anyhow, around 9pm I told Nurse ratchet we should go up to the pool.

Ratchet: The pool is closed!
Me: Nobody cares if you swim. It is still hot outside and I can't think of anything better to cool off.

Ratchet: Good point. Let me get ready.
Me: Let's go! Hurry up! We'll take the golf cart.

We had a great time swimming in the dark. The pool overlooks the bay and the moon gave us plenty of light.

I can't stand to sit around and do nothing.

I hate swimming in pools but at night it is the only option you have.

This weekend is going to be party central. Tonight a Paella party and tomorrow a progressive party with 5 stops.

FUN!!!!

BTW Temperance is steadily improving. Your thoughts have been most welcome!!!

Peace be with you,
Bobby

Stuff...

2011-07-19T09:16:00.006-04:00

Waterlemon Key St. John USVI. The current by Waterlemon Key is strong but worth the swim. Absolutely full of wildlife. Shot taken on our last visit. Very remote and beautiful.

I was just thinking about connections in my life...

I love putting the key into my 350z and taking it for a spin on the interstate. We don't drive automatics in this household.

My Toyota FJ is a beast of a different color. I can go almost anywhere with that truck. You often see it in my pictures of the beach. I'm either speeding or Four Wheelin'

My guitars are an extension of my soul. The electrics add a dimension of power that I cannot fully describe. At some point you don't even think about the guitar because you are one with it when you play. The Circuit (My amplifier) is also a big part of the equation. Don't get me started....

My Surfboards? Oh, you don't even remember they are underfoot once the waves line up and you are feeling the energy.

All of these are tools and can be replaced. I do notice my connection with them however....

My connection with loved ones transcends these other connections.

My life is all about these connections.

Feel the sand between your toes.

Feel the sun on your skin.

Feel the caress of your beloved.

Remember everything is connected.

We are bound together by the fragile thread of our humanity.

Peace be with you,
Bobby

Home for the First time

2011-07-13T09:29:00.005-04:00

Tempe last week. Me doing the late shift.

So...

Temperance is home for the first time. It was very cool to see her eyes dart all over the place. The little one has never seen anything other than her little ICU pod for 5 weeks.

Your thoughts have been very helpful. Good karma is absolutely a wonderful thing. She still has faulty ureters. I know this will entail more hospital visits but we can save those for later. The prognosis is so much better. This has been the most stressful summer that I can remember.

Switching gears....

One of my old friends is coming to visit tonight. He is an absolute nut. I always look forward to his visits. Justin is from Raleigh. I'm sure we will have to drag him out to the beach. Who knows what will happen tonight? I suspect golf cart shenanigans. The Flaming Golf Cart of Eternal Doom rides again!!!

Apparently I am "crazy" or at least that is what my daughter tells me when she talks to people who have known me from my past. If you want to do something that borders or appears to be criminal mischief then I'm your man. I have no idea how my wife puts up with me till this very day.

Just so you know "Fiju-Fic" is the Serbian word for "Crazy".

Pronounced Few-Fitch!

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Am I Skeered?

2011-07-11T09:32:00.003-04:00

Frances Bay St John USVI More wildlife per square foot than any place I have ever been. Everything all at once in this place. Totally amazing.

I know I write a bunch of stories about my environment. Perhaps they can be a little redundant. I don't have the first clue about climbing mountains in the Rockies or fighting off wolves in Alaska. I know I am missing something when I read your posts.

We are often frightened about the things we do not know or understand. Hell, I am often afraid of the things I do know.

My adventures by the water just seem natural to me. IMAGINE a whole different dimension of wild life right near your house; how can you resist exploring it? I can't get enough of it.

I got my a** kicked by the incoming current on my swim yesterday, great exercise but I am paying for it today. I managed to see a bunch of spot and croaker feeding on schools of minnows as I swam parallel (past the jetty) to the beach. Nothing too scary honestly.

Do I ever get startled in the water? Often. Hell, I stepped on a little crab yesterday on my way out and it gave me a pinch to remind me that it was underfoot. Whoops! Sorry!

So, do I get scared in the water? Oh Hell yes! That is part of the appeal. I have been startled by turtles, sharks, skates, dolphins and pelicans.... You have to know exactly what you are looking at to rationalize your fears. Some damn turtle or dolphin in the waves off of Hatteras will spook you in a big way if you didn't expect to see it in the surf....

Imagine being in a world where everything can fly or glide and you can travel in several dimensions under your own power? Unbelievable! Amazing and with the right commitment and understanding you can be a part of it.

Wow!

You ask yourself "What does the Boogie man fear?" I 100% guarantee it is the water.

I am no Boogie man and I get scared too.

I also recognize in these moments that I am happy and I am free.

Priceless.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

More Boiler

2011-07-07T11:01:00.006-04:00

Flat and Calm July 5th at "The Boiler" low tide.

Drifting in and out of vacation for a moment. I still have time for a quick note.

Hmmm - The Boiler was once the best surfing spot on the outer banks. Now the best spot is the "S" Turns right before you hit Mirlo between Pea Island and Hatteras Island. Often the waves break from right to left which is pure bliss for a goofy footed surfer like myself. Notice the SS Oriental smokestack in the picture? The ship sunk off the coast in 1862 I believe and is STILL there. It is a great snorkel (100 + yards offshore at low tide) when the water is calm and is a gnarly ride when the surf is up.

Shark patrols are well known however they are usually Sand Tigers. Sand Tigers prey on Sand Sharks. You know they are around when they come to the surface to "gulp" for air as they like to float looking for unsuspecting prey. Spooky looking bastards. Remember you are almost 50 miles out to sea when you are on the barrier islands. Lots and Lots of big fish.

Anyhow. I'm back to the beach everyday.

The Shenanigans this week have been non-stop, especially with the golf cart and my collection of Mortars (Large fireworks). We have been blessed with the company of loved ones all week.

Temperance continues to slowly improve. We take the late shift and enjoy her all to ourselves. Her Creatinine levels are now at 1.3 from 3.2 without dialysis...

I can live with that. Please continue to keep her in your thoughts.

See you on the beach!

Peace,
Bobby

Fact!

2011-06-29T12:29:00.004-04:00

This is a pic of Christ & St. Lukes stolen from the web...

Wednesday is trash day here...

So anyhow I got married 24 years ago on Monday. I'll throw in a few factoids from that day.

I was scared to death. Twenty-Three years old and I was working on my Master's degree while serving as a Psychiatric Nursing Assistant (See Goon) at the local nuthouse. My new wife was making a lot more than me at the time.

We leave the reception and it occurs to my wife that she forgot ALL of her makeup that she was going to take on our honeymoon cruise. Her Uncle slipped me a 100 bill and told me that if I wanted to have a good trip we would go buy some makeup that night at the 24 hour drugstore. He was right!

My wedding was CRASHED by about 40 people. Why? Ahhhh in college I was a notorious party crasher. The reception was off the hook and WAY overcrowded. Pay back was a bitch. My wedding was the target. *Whew*.

My wedding? It was at Christ & St. Luke's in downtown Norfolk. Pretty place honestly. One of the two ministers that was to marry us had to go to rehab for alcoholism so we had a pinch hitter come in for him instead. Episcopalians like to drink!!! Yep we had 2 ministers. The place was packed. See *party crashers*

We had a horse and buggy ride to the reception. Come to think of it the AC was out in the church and it was 95 degrees outside. Thank God for TALL stone Churches.

I was dressed in a White Tuxedo. Never again!

For all you Chuck Norris Joke Fans; I kid you not that Chuck Norris was hosting a damn conference in the hotel where we were and he got on the elevator with us and congratulated us on our wedding. We stayed at the Norfolk Airport Hilton. We had a plane to catch to Miami the next day for a cruise.

Boy I sure wish I was on my honeymoon again.

That was fun!!!

Pictures

2011-06-28T10:03:00.007-04:00

Kinda pensive today. Here is a smattering of pictures that are a common thread in my life... Please join me...

Peace,
Bobby

24

2011-06-27T09:38:00.004-04:00

Ramp 30 Cape Hatteras June 26th, 2011. The entrance and exit was dicey!!

We are celebrating our 24th year of marriage today.

I can tell you I was shakin' in my boots 24 years ago. I was all of 23 years old.

I had no idea what I was going to do for a living. In fact, I worked on my masters degree for a year before I fell into my current profession. Sadly, I never finished my masters. Don' get any bright ideas either. I do not want or need a masters in Biology for the kind of business I do now.

We celebrated our anniversary by staying on Hatteras Island. We managed to make it to ramp 30 (4wd access) on Hatteras Island and I will tell you the entrance and exit was gnarfinkle!! The surf was so flat we couldn't even boogie board but we sure did spend a lot of time in the water....The weather was 85 and sunny. I think the water temps were in the 80's as well. Very nice.

Stop in for dinner at Tortuga's Lie in Nags Head. You will not regret it.

I don't know where this journey takes us really. Do we ever know?

One day at a time.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Living the Dream

2011-06-24T09:11:00.008-04:00

Once in awhile I'll come out of retirement with my band.

Living the dream...

What exactly does that mean?

Living the dream? What dream? Who's dream?

I never say I'm living the dream because it always comes with a catch of some sorts. In fact, when I hear that phrase it always freaks me out.

I do have dreams however and I am here to tell you that you can become your dreams. You won't become all of them for if that was true I would be like Neo in the Matrix. I am nowhere close.

Dream of a successful life? Sure. Dream of no financial worries? Yes. Dream of living by the water? Absolutely. Dream of chickies and sports cars? Now you are talking!!!

Dream of travel? I need to travel more. I am seriously missing the boat on travel.

Dream of world peace? C'mon Bobby, that ain't going to happen...

I have been lucky enough to achieve several of my dreams with championships, marriage, family, business, titles, bands etc.

I just think when one says they are "living the dream" it seems tacky or mutually exclusive.

Maybe the phrase is a marketing tool. I somehow suspect this is the case.

I do hope that you are "pursuing your dreams"...I'll buy into that concept all day.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Thursday sound the alarm!

2011-06-23T09:11:00.007-04:00

My kid back in 2003 playing the very same PRS that is going to Temperance. That guitar has seen a lot of live playing time. Sickening sweet!

I went swimming yesterday and I can just say if you don't swim 3-6 times a week every week you will pay for it the next time you get in the water. Absolutely gorgeous in the bay. The water kicked my a** as it was a little bucky.

Today I'm running then I'm going into the gym to lift weights. My gym is right on the beach and I conclude my run once I hit the gym. Convenient to say the least.

I have several new neighbors behind me and this is the umpteenth time I have heard someone tell me they are "living the dream". What the hell is that supposed to mean?
That kind of talk makes me nervous.

I played two songs last night up at the local bar and grill. Damn place was packed and the guitarist wasn't taking "no" for an answer. I have been kicked out of that place for playing "She f**kin hates me" so of course I played an acoustic version of "Blood and Roses" and then "One Headlight"...You never know what is going to come out of me any longer.

We still use the song "Rape Me" by Nirvana for sound checks because it goes from clean/vocal to Distortion/Vocal/whole band so that you can properly adjust sound levels for the entire band and the sound is "dry" (which means absent any modulation effects)

Not an appropriate song by any stretch of the imagination.

Anyhow my niece Temperance has her creatinine level down to 2.0 and they pulled the IV tube from her tiny little hand so I'm thrilled. Creatine level of .3 to .4 is normal...

When I thought my niece was on death's doorstep (still not out of the woods) I promised Temperance I would give her my 1992 Black Cherry Paul Reed Smith Custom 24. It is one of my prized possessions. The guitar is named Jenny.

Why on Earth would I do such a thing?

If you promise one of your most prized possessions to someone they usually are around long enough to take it from you. I knew once I made the promise, my guitar would be gone.

You can almost always replace possessions.

Relationships are priceless.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

For the People of the Sun

2011-06-21T07:57:00.006-04:00

Me, Mom & Dad on Father's day.

Anger issues? Hmmm, I've met a few people with anger issues. Hell, my wife has them from time to time.

I can't say as I blame her either. Looking back, her mother divorced her father to marry her father's best friend. NICE!

The ULTIMATE betrayal.

Eventually her father would remarry...

Eventually both of their respective spouses would pass away...

Eventually her parents found each other again...

I do not have that capacity for forgiveness. I just don't. I don't. I'm sorry.

I can't imagine what that must have been like.

I suppose there are worse things.

Anyhow, I was just thinking out loud. Wishing things were different still cannot change them.

Switching gears:

Temperance (my niece) continues to improve. Her Creatinine Level is down to 2.2 from 3.2 which means her kidney function is returning although it needs to be .3 to .4. She does have peristalsis issues with her Ureters as they are 3x too big for her bladder. She is still touch and go BUT I think she survives and ultimately prospers.

We all have different belief systems. Some folks don't believe in anything at all.

I can tell you one thing. Your thoughts, prayers and sentiments have been welcome and wanted. Even I can't define EXACTLY what I believe. I can only show you when you come to the water with me...

It doesn't really matter. What I do know is that we are ALL bound together by the fragile thread of our humanity.

I can't pay you back for your thoughts. I can only promise to help someone else when
they need my thoughts.

You are a blessing.

Peace be the keeper,

Bobby

Shenanigans

2011-06-16T10:25:00.007-04:00

These are of Tempe's Godfather.

Only 110 more days till Hockey season begins. Hope the Bruins enjoy the Stanley Cup because someone wants to take it from them very badly. Fortunately, I am ambivalent about Hockey.

I have nothing in the tank this morning other than to say the shenanigans are off to a great start with my niece Temperance.

I'm going to buy Gumby and Pokey (I'll remove them, it is just for a picture) today and put them in the Crib with Temperance for a picture with a sign that says something silly. Our Buddy Norman (Tempe's Godfather) already did some pretty crazy stuff so I better get moving.

Why? Oh, I think if Tempe survives this ordeal we can look back on it and laugh together. Ripping on each other is a tradition and we are brutal. You aren't one of the guys unless we are always messing with you.

Living with me is like living with a child at times. I would drive most of you crazy. I love listening to others tell stories about me and our friends and apparently there are lots of them.

Come join me and I am positive there will be a story to tell. Ever had a deep fried Oreo cookie? Me neither. Today could be the day...Who knows what else will happen?

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Beautiful day

2011-06-15T13:15:00.003-04:00

Well...

Let me stop and say thank you for allowing me to share my life. Like everyone else I have my share of "not so nice" things.

We all have problems really. I suppose it is how we react to our problems that defines us as human beings. At the end of the day you still have to look at yourself in the mirror and ask if you made the most of today.

I'm having a great day at work financially. I am looking forward to a big swim in the bay when work is over and then I'm going to hang out with my niece. Last night I fed her and rocked her to sleep for an hour. Just us (in the ICU of course). It is damn rare to handle a newborn infant. What a little miracle.

My other niece (Leila) is staying with us in July for three days. Super! Seven year old little people rule the planet. Uncle Bobby/Auntie Nurse Ratchet don't like Teevee so you be ready to play outside till the sun goes down. I love to play outside, plus I get to act like I'm seven again. Seven is a wonderful year...I can see we are going to get in trouble. Hooray! Load the kid up with Candy and Dr. Browns Cream Soda and watch her fly around the room! I think I'll join in.

I know my previous posts have been REALLY HEAVY. I have to accept them as the "New Normal" for awhile. I know my sister will need some financial support as well as logistical and emotional support. No matter what, we stick together.

Bad circumstances are only really bad if you can't share the burden. You can face anything with the right kind of love and support.

Life is precious and fragile.

We must make the most of it.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Secret

2011-06-14T08:59:00.006-04:00

Temperance with her mommy yesterday.

I have a secret.

Of course you all are my secret society so that means I share many of my secrets with you and guess what? At the end of the day they are still my secrets.

My secrets aren't really merit worthy in my opinion. My secrets are silly.

I love my wife, daughter and family and they are pretty much the Alpha and Omega of my journal. Oddly enough I journal in secret to express my thoughts and feelings on these matters.

Why? Maybe I'm an emotional boy who can best express his feelings in these little pages.

This should come as no surprise to you but I'm going to let it rip anyhow.

Do I cry? What? Is that a trick question? No, it isn't a trick question.

I don't cry in public or in front of people. No way.

Privately? Oh Yes. The doors are locked or I'm alone, otherwise I am having problems with my "allergies".

With my niece Temperance I feel as if I am in a really bad dream. Usually in bad dreams one of your friends, family members or old souls will come from the outside and save you from the dream.

Not this time. All my heroes are in this dream with me. All of you are inside this dream as well. All of my loved ones. All of my friends. Everybody.

You can't save us from inside this dream.

So who saves us?

Someone from the outside that I do not know.

Is this possible?

I sure hope so.

Hope is a powerful sentiment.

Hope is all we have left.

Hope.

Will I cry out in despair?

You'll never see it.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Opportunity

2011-06-13T10:15:00.003-04:00

Runner Up medal 2011 Virginia Beach Sandsoccer. We have been the reigning champs for two seasons prior to losing the finals 4-3.

Opportunity

That word certainly means a lot to me. Opportunity is perhaps the biggest word in my life.

Really? Without a doubt. I try to leave nothing on the table.

Each and every day we have opportunity. Some we create and some simply fall into our laps. We just have to be smart enough to recognize them.

Opportunities come in all shapes and sizes. I'm so in tune with every opportunity that I try to take each one that I can.

What are they? Some are mundane. Some are spectacular.

Coaching soccer for the last several years has yielded me several championships and an opportunity to make my mark on the local soccer scene.

Playing music and helping other musicians has put me on the local music scene in a pretty big way.

Charity work through our Foundation has allowed me to help out with a lot of worthy causes and for me to meet so many wonderful human beings.

Spending time with loved ones even when I am exhausted has yielded some wonderful relationships.

I make time for most opportunities. The only issue I face is geographical time constraints. I can't be in all places a once but I put forth my best effort.

I always have time for my family. Always.

I wake up every morning wondering what kind of opportunities will be presented to me. I look forward to most of them...

Today my childhood friend "The Admiral" is coming to town and will be staying the night. After we visit Temperance in the Hospital we are going to stay up all night and act like we did when we were in college.

On a Monday?

Yep.

Don't feel sorry for me and my Niece. I know she is sick. Just remember that I view this time as an opportunity and that I will take advantage of each day as it comes.

A new day brings new hope and new opportunities.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

small decrease

2011-06-10T16:06:00.004-04:00

Tempe's Creatinine is down to 3.0 from 3.1. 10% is clinically significant. We are miles away. Hopefully the trend has started in the right direction.

Thank you for staying vigilant.

Peace,
Bobby

Thursday

2011-06-09T10:57:00.005-04:00

Temperance.

I'll give it to you in numbers.

Temperance is thriving in terms of her eating and alertness. She looks at you and makes baby noises. She holds my finger and smiles. I have 24 hour access to my niece and use it all the time.

Here is the ugly. Her Creatinine level was 2.7 on Wednesday which is up from 2.4 on Tuesday. Normal levels are .3 to .4. In other words she is pretty close to kidney failure. In adults those numbers are kidney failure. These numbers have to go down in a hurry.

So, she is having a cutaneous bilateral urostomy done this morning to relieve the pressure from her kidneys so the kidneys don't die on her. We are dealing with something rare and perplexing to the nephrologist and urologist.

Nurse Ratchet tells me this is lethal.

So what do we do?

I spend every second I can with my niece. My window of opportunity may be very short so I clear as much of my schedule in an effort to spend as much time as I can with her.

I live in the moment. Looking to the future may not be realistic and is stressful. Living in the moment is the only option that keeps me sane.

Today is all we truly have anyhow.

My little sister clings to us as if we were her parents. Her husband is my very best friend. Next to my wife and daughter they are closer to me than our own parents. They remain optimistic and are really clueless as to the gravity of this situation. Infant mortality is damn close to 100% if this cannot be reversed.

This feels like we are all stuck inside the same bad dream and none of us can escape it.

I'm grateful for this opportunity but am sad that it comes with such a heavy emotional burden. I often see people get angry at their maker or the universe over these kinds of issues. I am not that kind of person. We live in a world of free will and chaos will always be a part of that freedom.

Again, I am grateful for the opportunity. We are not victims.
Like my buddy Maggs has said before. Don't worry about what you have lost; focus on what you have left.

We still have Tempe and there is always hope.

UGH!!

Just got a text from my sister. Her creatinine levels are 3.1 just prior to her operation currently in session. Getting worse!

I'm off to the hospital. I can't concentrate on work like this. We are in deep trouble.

Wish us well.

Peace,
Bobby

Can't Sleep.

2011-06-08T08:16:00.003-04:00

My little niece Temperance was admitted to the Children's hospital yesterday and underwent surgery for her Kidneys.

I think she has some kind of polycystic kidney disorder. The total technical term escapes me because I just don't want to believe it at the moment.

Anyhow, this one is a big deal in terms of Infant mortality.

I'm not too happy at the moment as you can tell.

In case you didn't know, I am closer to my Sister and Brother-in-law in terms of friendship and family than anyone else. We vacation together several times a year and are constantly in each others hair.

I feel so bad for them because they are scared to death. We just give them jobs to do and they do them with the good faith that things will work out just fine. Faith and Hope are strong although they are beginning to see the gravity of the situation. Nurse Ratchet has flipped out and when the pros panic you know things are not good.

I have full access to my niece and I go see her everyday. After all, she is the newest member of The Inner Circle.

I don't know where all of this is headed. I just ask if you get the chance to send up some good vibes, prayers or thoughts, the karma would benefit all of us.

The physicians she has are some of the best in the world for this sort of thing and they are treating her very aggressively. I hope they have enough to work with so they can fix this.

I hate it when bad things happen to really good people.

Life is very precious and fragile.

Peace be the keeper,

Bobby

New Family Member

2011-06-06T09:01:00.005-04:00

Temperance, welcome to the real world.

Party out of bounds weekend.

Friday - We attended a going away party for friends of ours who are moving to Naples, Italy. Yes that is correct. Turn right by the trash pile at the end of the street and keep moving. Engineering at its finest. Anyhow, the party was on the water in a fantastic location. The theme? You guessed it! ITALIAN!!!

Saturday - We had a big party in the neighborhood with an incredible live band. I was able to stay for a couple of hours because my sister was in Labor with my brand new niece Temperance!!!! Anyhow She was born weighing 7lbs 8 ounces. Healthy and relatively quiet and happy.

Hooray! I am in line to be the favorite uncle once again!!!!

Did I get any chores done? No.

That is what the weekday is for silly!!!

Peace be with you,

Bobby

The Little Things

2011-06-02T10:13:00.006-04:00

I got called out of the crowd to play with the band we were watching. Happens to me all the time. I'd rather NOT play this guitar.

Acquisition mode? Oh hell no. I'm in the *stuff* reduction mode. I watch friends who buy all these things only to watch them stress over them. Awful, simply awful.

I CANNOT imagine ever going through the acquisition phase of my life all over again.

Once you figure out that the *stuff* in your life isn't going to make you happy then you are well on the road to freedom.

I would love to put a lot of my *stuff* smack dab in the middle of your living room and leave it there. Tables, china, chairs, video games, you name it.

I do have tools however. Many of them are a reflection of my personality. They all have a purpose and a place. Truck, car, guitar, Ipod, Computer, Rocking chair (I am getting old) etc...

What makes me happy? The littlest things honestly.

Like a BIG old fresh tomato sandwich dripping all down my arm would be a fantastic start.

I love having one of those Orangina drinks when I come back home from Williamsburg.

Hearing my kid sing ALWAYS makes me happy.

The salt air, sand and sunshine always make me smile. I am instantly connected to living bodies of water (water full of wildlife).

You know bikini season is closely linked to the summer? What's not to like about that? Be respectful and beauty will be all around you. Feminine beauty is the best beauty on the planet. Stunning.

Don't go mucking up your life with a bunch of crap you really don't need. I mean seriously how many surfboards do I need? One or Zero depending on my ambition or lack thereof.

I am thrilled to be in relatively good health. Running, biking, swimming, lifting weights and mobility are wonderful things.

You can't write a billion dollar check for good health can you? Oh Hell no.

So if it is a Yacht/ Mansion/ Porsche/ or something complicated I'll leave that up to you.

As for me, I'll be on the beach somewhere with my girl.

In these moments I am happy.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Exhausted

2011-05-31T10:23:00.004-04:00

Me on the right. We are in a Lock waiting for the water to be pumped out to equal the tide. Crazy system I tell ya...

I don't even know where to start with this post.

I live in a very crazy place. Very Crazy. Our community is by the beach and you know it gets out of hand, especially during the summer.

I have literally blown myself apart with all the bands, parties, firecrackers and shenanigans that occur in my neighborhood.

*Whew*

Memorial Day weekend was a blowout. I have been outside pretty much the whole damn time.

Do I have a tan yet? Sure. That is a given. All of us have a tan if we are at the beach.

Care to join us at Sand Soccer This afternoon?

Next weekend promises to be even crazier.

I absolutely love the summer.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Tuesday?

2011-05-24T11:34:00.007-04:00

Summer cactus on left. Christmas cactus on right. The Cactus on the right got confused! Shot taken last week. I'm crazy about plants. I don't know why...

Today is Tuesday.

Duh.

Mr. Bobby, what are you going to do with this one and only Tuesday May 24th you will ever get in your life?

Hmmm...Well so far I watered my plants, made coffee and had Cheese Fries for lunch. Work has been very fruitful today so I'm going to press on with my efforts.

Since the market closes at four, I'm going straight to the gym and hit the treadmill for half an hour and lift my legs today. I should be done right at Five.

At 5 o'clock I am conducting Sand Soccer Practice. I literally walk out of the gym and onto the sand. I have two consecutive championships to defend and we are going for our third. Practice will be hot on the beach today. The temps are in the early 90's. Toughen up!!! Will we win a third? With preparation and some luck perhaps...

Once I come home, I'll grill some chicken and asparagus or something of that sort and enjoy dinner with my family.

After dinner, I'm going to visit my mom and dad. They are in town from Florida.

When I get home I'll probably go up to manland and play a little guitar then come down and get Nurse Ratchet to sit in the hot tub with me and converse about today.

Tuesday will be over at midnight and I will reset and start on my Wednesday.

There is only one Wednesday May 25th 2011.

I sure hope you make the most of all the days you have.

They are a gift.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Review

2011-05-23T13:50:00.005-04:00

Kel-Puff! My Kid is nuts.

Oh my God this weekend was off the hook.

Friday? - We went to a wine tasting at my neighbors house and had a wonderful time. He hired a piano player to play his grand piano while we were all milling about the house. I met all kinds of nice people. Got to bed rather late. *Whew* Mabel even played Piano for everyone after the other piano player left. Lots and lots of flirting. Crazy but whatever. Must have been some over served chickies/dudes at the party.

Saturday? - We worked on the rental properties and then set out for two parties. One started at 2 and we left at 7. I played a lot of guitar and sang with 2 bands at Mark's party. Let me just say the place was crazy. The second party was even better. I played guitar/sang and wound up playing drums half the night. We had Cornhole/ Tequila Bar/ Margarita Bar/ Multi Kegs/ Food and non-stop live music (Full PA system) from five different musicians (We kept rotating) on acoustic guitar(s). In both cases I think there were at least 200 plus people at the party. I even had my daughter sing a couple of tunes with me. Sickening Sweet! The second party is the one by which other parties should be judged.

Sunday? - We went to the Stockley Garden's Art Festival; bought a few pieces of art and had a dinner party for my family (Parents/In-laws and siblings). We then moved furniture. I even capped off the evening by setting up a Bowflex Ultimate for my Brother-in-law at his house. What a pain in the neck that was.

Today? Working and then I'm off to swim 60-80 laps once the market closes.

We played good Samaritan over the weekend several times and I'll have to write a separate post about it.

Damn! The insanity continues all through the summer.

"Who wants to come with me and hide in the sky?"- Serj Tankien

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Weekend Hijinx

2011-05-20T12:11:00.008-04:00

I suppose a good update will suffice.

Sand Soccer has started in earnest. I have been coaching these young ladies since they were in 6th grade. All of them are rising sophomores in college which places them in the U-19 category.

Over the last 2 seasons we have won the Championship in the Virginia Beach Sand Soccer tournament. It took me 4 seasons to figure out "how" to win it. I have the players and the formula now. Well...except my players are not exactly in sand soccer shape. I have a about a month to fix it. UGH!

Winning 3 championships in a row is next to impossible. I'll deal with that notion on game day.

Hmmm...The water temps are in the 70's today. Should I go for a swim? Hmmm...maybe.

This weekend? Party season is in full swing. We have a wine tasting tonight at a neighbor's house. These tastings occur the 3rd Friday of every month and they are basically an excuse to drink like hell. Don't worry guys, I'll have 2 beers and the rest will be diet sodas in a Red Solo Cup!

Tomorrow I have to work on my rental properties and then I have 2 parties to attend in which I will be playing the guitar for about an hour apiece. Should be fun. Both parties have a live PA and the first one will have me on the acoustic and then 2 full bands. Wish I could stay all night at that party.

Sunday? Who know? I'm meeting with a client on Sunday. I should take my client with me on Saturday. I'll figure this out later.

*Whew*

I want to thank everyone for their continued support during this time of my life. I am honored to have you as friends. You guys Rock!!!

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Try Harder

2011-05-17T09:56:00.009-04:00

I called this Dolphin up to the side of our boat on Sunday. I was able to get two of them to come and check us out. You use a series of knocks and high pitch squeaking noises that you make with your lips. Most ignore you but some will come because they know you are specifically calling them. When they stick their head out of the water, they are looking dead at you. Nurse Ratchet on the right...

Whirlwind tour.

We drove to Hilton Head, South Carolina on Friday. It turns out that Kelly wasn't coming home until Monday so we had a nice window of opportunity. That place is very organized and well planned. The bike paths alone were insane. Nice trip. Driving the Z on Interstate 95 was an absolute treat!

I'm going to explain my Inner Circle philosophy just a wee bit. It is my responsibility to be the very best Bobby I can be. My friends and family depend on it. In turn, I share my things. Want to vacation at the beach? C'mon over. Want to do some crazy fun stuff? I can make it possible. Your responsibility? Ahhh, be the best whomever you can be and share your idea of good times amongst your friends and family. We help each other along with our successes and failures.

Do we talk about money? Yes. The door has to be open and you have to talk about it like a committee. We share our successes and our failures. This is the only real way to learn how to absolutely prosper. Want to know how to make several million bucks? Learn from someone who has been there or is in the process.

I got an earful this weekend from the Inner Circle Board of Directors. I have to work even harder and do whatever it takes. I may be well to do but it isn't enough. Is this line of thinking legit? Think outside of the box for a minute. I know this will sound insane but think with me. On second thought I think I'll skip this whole line of thinking for now. It is all about money and perhaps that isn't really the important point.

My point? Ah yes, there is a point somewhere. I believe we all need advocates. Choose advocates who have a good moral compass that wish nothing but the best for you. Share your experiences and listen to them as well. Make yourself emotionally available. I have discovered my advocates are working hard in the background for me and my family. At some point you have to listen to your coaches.

My marriage will not fail.

Why?

Failure is not an option. I will not be a victim. Tough path? At first, but it will improve as we walk.

Please join me as we embark on this next leg of our journey.

Peace be with you.

Bobby

The New Paradigm

2011-05-11T09:52:00.009-04:00

From This past weekend. My wife has the biggest smile/shortest person in this picture.

Hmmm...I would love to tell you that my life is mundane but that would not be exactly true.

Kelly comes home this Saturday for the entire summer. I am grateful. Band practice starts twice weekly in earnest. We also will be surfing if the surf is up. Everyone gets out of bed or drops what they are doing if the surf is pristine. Even I will leave in the middle of the workday to surf.

Good news. Two people qualified for the Olympics in Shamrock race back in March.
Bad News - I wasn't one of them. Not even close. Fooey!

I'm still running/swimming and lifting all the time. I promised a neighbor I would swim a 100 laps today. No biggie but when I get out of the pool I 100% guarantee I will be starving.

I have to make a red eye trip to pick Kelly up from College this weekend. Should be fun. Traffic sucks however.

I'm really doing okay under the circumstances. I have more things to do than I have time if that makes any sense.

I have so much to appreciate in my life. I am grateful for this day and will make the most of it.

While I'm not always happy I can tell you that I am fulfilled most of the time.

As for the issues with my marriage? I am not going anywhere and I will always be nice. Dignity is a real virtue that is easily lost. I think things work out (Well 50/50) but I can live with those odds. I just go about my life as if nothing is going to happen. I'm ready if it does, don't worry.

In my mind I have always had a vision of my life. I have known since I was a kid that I would live like this some day. I did not see this rough patch ahead and it caused my vision to go blank for a spell.

I still do not know what the the future holds for my visions are worthwhile and interesting down either path I choose.

Dreams are a powerful force in my life. I'm here to tell you that you can become your dreams. My dreams now take me on adventures. Sometimes my wife is in them and sometimes she is not.

We shall see for I will follow my dreams.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Still Lost

2011-05-09T14:56:00.004-04:00

Pictures from better Days. Christmas 2010

Hmmm...

I just got a phone call from my wife's Best Friends husband ((Got that?). He is one of my best friends. We have all actually been friends since we were in our early 20's.

My phone rang and he asked if we were doing okay. I talked about our issues a little bit and he interjected that he heard the tone of our respective wives conversations.

So, apparently this is getting a little more public. A little more real.

I left the conversation like this...

I'm not leaving the relationship. If she leaves, then she chooses to do so unilaterally.

F**K! Here we go...

I have often touted to anyone who will listen that it is very important to pay attention to the "little birdies". When a little bird comes to you and tells you something, then you had best pay complete attention.

Nurse Ratchet graduated this weekend with her Doctorate. I threw her a HUGE fantastic party. Mother's day was great as well.

There is something I don't know that I don't know.

I suppose that will be revealed to me eventually.

My sister - Who told you that?
Me - A little Bird.

My Sister - I hope your little bird is wrong.
Me - They seldom are.

I am careful to remember that my problems are not worse than anyone else. I can't get caught up in that train of thought.

I am grateful for the love I have in my life and looking back I have no regrets.

This evening I will go swimming and take my little dog for a walk on the beach.

Time to appreciate the small things.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Now what?

2011-05-04T14:52:00.008-04:00

I'll give you a weekly update. I am having trouble finding the energy to write in my journal.

Things I notice? I haven't picked up the guitar in the last 5 days. Not good. That means I'm a wreck. Hmmm...

My workouts are awesome. I truly understand how my dog gets excited about going for a walk.

As with anything in life you have to give it a deadline. I'm still at the same fork in the road as I was last week. Shock has overtaken me and everything seems so blurry all of a sudden.

I have not disclosed our problems to my family yet.

My daughter knows and my sister is suspicious. Perhaps Kelly has been talking to her Aunt. I can't blame her really.

In the business world we call this "Sunken Costs" which are really the resources you invest that you can't retrieve. Investing in something with little to show for it is a VERY STRONG psychological anchor even for me. You worry about what you will lose when you have an abrupt change of course.

I should put my business hat on and look for what I have to gain if I cut my losses.
I'm entering into a period of lost opportunity cost. I know it seems like I'm babbling.

Love is an irrational beast. I am still in love.

Hopefully, this is a "Turn Around" play instead of a "Sunken Cost" Disaster. Everyone can relate to this sentiment when you look at this this way.

I cannot see past the potential loss at the moment although I know it could emotionally cost me more. Playing the game not to lose is a sure fire way to eventually lose.

Who said a fork in the road wasn't treacherous?

Perhaps there is another path?

I'm searching.

Peace be with you,
Bobby

The next day...

2011-04-28T12:55:00.007-04:00

The Little Serb (Jovana) and my beloved.

Hmmm...

What do you do when a bomb goes off in your own home?

You make sure everyone is okay and then you eventually protect yourself.

So...I get the news on Saturday. We continue to talk about it over the weekend.

I have already figured out the business end of the equation (quietly of course) and have a team ready to deploy with one phone call. Making business decisions under extreme emotional duress is not something you do without counsel. I'm ready.

Now I can put that thought out of my mind.

We built our empire together and both of us started with NOTHING. She is certainly capable of being self sufficient and so am I. I'm perfectly fine with 50/50.

First things first. Back to the Shrink next week. I certainly need emotional guidance.

I keep the channels open and am pretty much going to do whatever it takes to keep my marriage with the exception of losing my dignity in the process. You cannot make someone love you, it is a gift that must be given freely.

A wise old goat just told me that it takes about half the time of your relationship to recover once it is broken. I'm 30 years in and should expect a 15 year recovery. Damn. Oh, that is ugly.

I'm doing the absolute best that I can.

For once in my life the crystal ball has gone dark. I can't see the future any longer. Unsettling to say the least. I feel a chill in the summer air and somehow have lost my way.

Miserable. I talk with my daughter and that is the extent of my support system. Kelly was here for the initial impact and Kelly scorched the earth with her mother. SCORCHED it. Daddy's little girl turned into a vicious headhunter on the spot.

I did manage to sit them both down and tell them that I expected them both to work it out as they were the two most important people in my life.

Here we go...

I'm afraid. I dare not show it however. This is too big to get it wrong.

Having said all of this, I will accept responsibility for my own actions and deeds and if it helps matters along I'll even accept responsibility for some things that are clearly not in my control.

Did I say I was afraid? For sure.

Your insight and wishes are greatly appreciated.

Thank you for allowing me to share my life. Perfect? Not at all.

Peace,
Bobby

Foundation Cracks

2011-04-27T10:35:00.005-04:00

My little girl...

Where do I start? I use this place to post my thoughts, hopes and dreams.

*Whew* this weekend was about as stunning as any I have had. I don't even know where to begin. Perhaps we should start with the beginning of what may very well be the end of the biggest chapter in my life. Maybe not. I would say this is a 50/50 shot.

I have noticed some dramatic changes in my wife as she was peri-menopausal. She also has some issues with her thyroid. Stubborn as hell, she reluctantly sought medical treatment AFTER she was completely done with menopause.

But I digress.

Me - "Is there anything in life you appreciate?"
Her - no answer. *Cricket*

Oh boy...We have us some big problems I think to myself secretly.

Flash Forward

Saturday Morning she tells me that she is considering a separation.

Me? I want to think that this mid-life issue can be resolved. I'm not leaving.

I will confess I do not know where the story ends.

On my map there is no fork in the road of this magnitude. I'm sure as hell standing in front of one. My path may be chosen for me before I have a chance to decide which fork to take.

Observe radio silence.

Many of you have read my journal over several years. My life begins and ends with my family.

There is always someone who has more, who is richer, who is smarter, faster, stronger
than I will ever be. Perhaps that is the man for her.

Me? What can I say? I am in love with my wife.

This by far has been the most difficult post I have ever written.

Did I see it coming? Maybe so. I have always known that happiness comes from within.

That is something I cannot fix for her.

Wish us well.

Peace be the keeper.

Bobby

Things that make me angry.

2011-04-21T09:44:00.005-04:00

The view from the back of my Truck. Hatteras Island 2010.

I'm in a bad mood. I need to snap out of it. I'll share it with you instead.

1) My First cousin Alan is my oldest friend. He is all about entitlements and social everything. That doesn't bother me until you dig out his history. Kicked out of the military. Lost his first and only marriage AND let his son get adopted by his wife's next husband. HE is what is wrong with the entitlement system in the first place. I want to beat his ass. I really do. The crap he posts on Facebook makes me think he is an idiot. Smart? Very. Common Sense? Absolutely none.

2) My other first cousin. Serena. Her husband doesn't have a job, Neither does she. Hello!!! They are expecting their THIRD CHILD in October. Two college graduates. HELLO!!!! Hello?

3) My dad? Hooked on Percocet. He talks more s**t than any human on the planet and doesn't give a f**k about anyone but himself. My poor mother. This is my Father's legacy. I am not proud of him at all...

4) My wife is getting her Doctorate of Nursing Practice this May. She was just declined an interview as a tenure track professor at her Alma Mater. Not remotely happy. The woman in charge hates her guts AND is in a position to keep her out. Her hip has been hurting her and she is stressed out of her mind. When she gets this way we head for the hills as there is NO Consoling her. FML!!!

5) Me? I train as if I was in the fight of my life. While I see results from working out and I mix it up intelligently I must confess my recovery times leave something to be desired. I don't like it. I have to pick my spots. I'm not going to stop moving out of fear at this point.

I have a few more but I'll spare you.

The good stuff...

1) Kelly is doing well in school and is excelling in her major. She has rejoined our band and is coming home this weekend for rehearsal.

2) My sister is pregnant and in relatively good health although she has kidney stones which throws her for a big loop. Still, everyone is healthy.

3) Summer is here and it is absolutely gorgeous. I love summer so much.

4) Life is precious. My problems compared to everyone else are small.

I'm taking a day trip to Hatteras this weekend. I just want to sit on the beach and do nothing.

Welcome to the chronicles of my middle age. Next destination? Well, walk with me for several years and we can talk about our old age.

Fortunately, I will stop and smell the Roses as we walk the path together.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Weekend Follies

2011-04-18T10:29:00.006-04:00

Hmmm...

Friday - Out to Dinner with the Wife. Sushi. Then we went to a neighbors house to shuck a few Lynnhaven Oysters. Raw is the ONLY way to go!!!! I scraped my right hand a few times while shucking those lovely creatures.

Fireworks of course!!! The Big Mortars rule!!!

We went to a wine party after this other party and everyone was promptly kicked out at 11:00. That NEVER has happened in our neighborhood before.

So...Back to my place with the rest of the neighborhood! I think it stopped around 1:30.

Saturday - A tornado warning loomed all day. We were in between three super cells and spared the nasty Tornadoes North and South of us. My daughter's roommate lives in Gloucester VA and was at ground zero. Two of her neighbors were killed. Awful.
Folks, Tornadoes are super rare in these parts. This is tragic. Kelly says her roomie is still in shock. Apparently her roommates father watched one of the victims get snatched up outside by the tornado and flung into the woods.

Sunday - I painted my Niece's (She is still unborn) bedroom. Lavender walls with off White trim. My sister is uber pregnant!!! Anyhow, I like painting for some reason and got it done over the course of 5 hours. Pizza afterwards!

I JUST sent off our taxes. I have to pay them quarterly. We owe for the year and then of course we owe quarterlies. Fudge!!! I pay ridiculous money in taxes. Now, I can look forward to paying more.

Can't balance the budget? Don't blame me. I'm paying more than my fair share.

Successful? Your reward is more taxes. Congratulations!!!

Peace be with you,
Bobby

Really?

2011-04-13T11:10:00.005-04:00

My girls!

I'm an easy going guy BUT some things make me crazy.

Dude?! What?! You didn't just order pizza delivery in the middle of band rehearsal did you? Who the F**k does that in the middle of a two hour practice?

Dude?! What?! Are you really wearing a man purse and speedos at the beach? Go away!! Now I'm going to have nightmares.

Dude?! Oh my God stop whining. I can't stand it. Man up! Get off your lazy A** and take care of the problem yourself. I can help but STOP whining. Seriously.

Dude?! Really? Are you REALLY arguing with that lady? I don't care if you are 100% right you still look like an a**hole arguing with her in the first place. Walk away boy.

Dude?! C'mon that pair of rubber testicles hanging from the back of your truck? What is that all about? I 100% guarantee we will have to tow your dumb ass off the beach. Don't bother me when I'm surfing to do it either. You can wait.

What did you just say to that person? Oh no way!!!! You are an a**hole for talking down to anyone. Get out of my sight. I can't stand it when people talk down to other people. No f**king way...

Are you negative? Stop right there. Actually, please go away. You kill me.

You say something like that to my wife/sister/daughter/mother/friend again and I will smack the absolute piss out of you for even thinking it. Keep your perverted thoughts to yourself. Who the F**k talks like this? I CANNOT STAND inappropriate sexual comments from any man in the presence of a lady.

Religious fanatic? Hey look, I'm all about believing in something bigger than yourself BUT heaven help you if you are judging me as if you were God himself. People like you have hurt me worse than any other on the planet.

Did you upset my baby? No excuse. You better run and stay gone.

Laugh it up. And while you are at it don't take yourself so seriously.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Your friends Rock!!!

2011-04-04T10:46:00.005-04:00

I'm thinking about my childhood friend David. He turned 47 on Saturday.

I grew up with David. We went to the same Church, Middle and High School.

David was a great athlete, awesome baseball player, awesome football player and a very nice guy. He graduated High School and went to work for Virginia Power.

After High School I went on to college and REALLY wanted to put my High School days behind me. I maintained a handful of my closest friendships from High School and pretty much started a new life from scratch.

Back to David...

47. Brain Cancer, Wheelchair, paralysis in his lower limbs. Losing the battle for his life in a rehabilitation center.

The plan?

Sneak him out, throw a party in his honor and invite anyone who knew ever knew him. This was an absolute blowout. David had beer, barbecue and more friends/family that love him than anyone could ever imagine.

I walked into the place and was received with open arms. Oh my God. I was overwhelmed. Young Elderly High School Complete with the same dumbass pranks we play on each other. Fun! We ripped David to shreds and he loved every minute of it.

David is going to die soon. These are the cards he has been dealt.

The party started at 3 in the afternoon and raged through the night.

You know what? Who the f**k wants to go to his funeral? Why not celebrate his life RIGHT NOW?

And that my friends is what we did...

Shenanigans are for the living.

Life is precious and so very fragile.

David, your friends rock!!!

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Slow down...

2011-04-01T15:10:00.003-04:00

It occurs to me that my world is different. I live in a place where everyone is successful and I make jokes about tripping over bags of money in my neighbors lawns.
I'm not bragging about it although some of you may take it that way. A couple neighbors have their own corporate jets. The "regular" guy here is a Doctor, Admiral or Lawyer. Weird. I grew up in a lower middle class household.

I have extraordinary luck. I married a smart, pretty girl who shares similar life goals. Oh my God she is can be pompous at times. So can I.

I especially get crazy if a person acts like they are better than someone else.

I feel the weight of the world sometimes. I need to live in the moment more often.

My friends and family are all so proud of me. I share everything I have. My life would suck without my childhood friends. Even my wife was my girlfriend when we were 17.

My thoughts are all over the place. I'm 47. F**K!!! Sometimes I wish I could step off the accelerator and relax for a second. That would be lovely.

I met a lady Wednesday night who was perfectly content being a hostess and taking care of her son. I wanted to reach out and tell her to get an education and keep pressing forward but I realized something before I said too much.

These choices make her extremely happy.

Damn. I really admire that.

I am CEO of my own company. I am a Senior Vice President of another. My wife will soon be Dr. Fijufic and our mail will arrive as Mr. & Dr. Fijufic. We drive ourselves nuts. We even have meetings to discuss business once a week. What? C'mon really?

I learned a lot about life from that lady. She lives to be with her son. I understand the sentiment. Being a father is really the best thing I have ever done.

Follow your heart and find fulfillment in whatever you commit to do. Life's lessons can be learned from the least expected places.

Thank you Lady for reminding me of what matters most. I will listen with my heart more often.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Elvis has left the Building!

2011-03-30T11:29:00.002-04:00

Back when Elvis was popular the coliseums were packed with fans who tried to catch a glimpse of Elvis before he left the concert. This was usually a signal for everyone to disperse.

Well...

My wife is en route to a medical conference until Sunday. Mabel has left the building!

So... I'm on my own.

I absolutely adore my wife however it is good for us to spend some time apart.

Me? My itinerary is jammed pack with work, exercise and two band practices.

Care to join me in the gym? How about for a run? Wanna Swim laps? Dinner at the Cutty? Want to listen to us rehearse? Got an outdoor party on Saturday. Want to hear me play in public? I am good for a song or two on Thursday night.

Oh- I have some of the best Blue Fin tuna you have EVER eaten in the fridge. You can bet I'm grilling Tuna once or twice; that is if I don't eat it raw first. I also have some mighty fine Carolina Style barbecue too although a good steak or two wouldn't hurt my feelings either. So many choices.

I am blessed with good health and I fill my nights and days with activities. I have the love of my family and an abundance of friends.

Life is a treasure. Each day is a blessing.

In my world the door is always open and you are always welcome.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

If nothing changed...

2011-03-25T10:08:00.004-04:00

If nothing changed...Everything would be the same.

I cannot imagine a world without constant change.

Do I like change? Sometimes.

Sometimes I don't.

I'll be 47 on Sunday. A lot has changed over my relatively brief life.

Perhaps the most unkind change of all is that many of my childhood heroes and friends have passed into the next dimension.

I sure hope they would be proud of me and the way I have chosen to live my life.

"Don't worry about what they say; just watch what they do." - Ranton Haywood Jackson

I always have time. You are always worth it.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Apex Predator of the Ocean

2011-03-22T14:02:00.003-04:00

The Killer Whale (orca) is THE apex Predator of the ocean. Brilliant hunters.

Presently the Bluefin Tuna are running off the Coast of North Carolina and my buddy snapped this picture of a killer whale snatching the tuna from the Fisherman's line. He said there was a big pod of them swarming everywhere.

None of us have seen offshore Killer Whales ever.

I found the offshore species of Killer Whales and their habitats are largely unknown.

I was invited on this fishing expedition Sunday and decided to pass. 200 nautical miles Round trip is a long ride.

I suspect this was a once in a lifetime event in these parts.

I regret not going.

On a lighter note I did get some fresh tuna.

Tuna steaks for dinner all week!!!

Peace be with you,

Bobby

What matters most

2011-03-21T11:12:00.004-04:00

Boatride back home at sunset in the harbor.

I protect that which matters most.

What matters most for me?

My girls.

The sun rises and sets with them.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Spring ='s Summer

2011-03-18T15:40:00.005-04:00

St. Patrick's day 2011 on the BEACH!!! Hello Sunshine!!!

You heard that right. I am not a four season kind of person.

Fall & Winter are Pure Death!

Spring is Summer as far as I'm concerned

AND....

Summer is the best season ever.

81 degrees and sunny.

You know where to find me.

See you at the beach!!!

Peace,
Bobby

Gentleman Callers

2011-03-15T11:32:00.005-04:00

I have to remind myself that this is part of a Happy Life...

Gentlemen, my daughter will most likely like you IF you are all of these things:

1) Surfer
2) Athlete
3) Musician
4) Smart
5) Ambitious
6) Funny

Not a big list really. Most guys don't make it past the cut on #1 or #3. This frustrates the hell out of my wife.

Uh, Mabel darling...I'm all these things. These are the things I share with my daughter.

Kelly is looking for someone to take care of her when I am gone.

Keep looking!

There is nothing wrong with being picky. *Sheesh*

"If you get what you want you will always be happy with it" - Dad

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Random thoughts.

2011-03-14T10:44:00.003-04:00

Random thoughts. A snapshot of my mind.

I love...

1) I love the sound of a PRS Custom 24 running through a Mesa Boogie DC-3 circuit.
2) I love the smell of the beach as I stand beside the water. The salt air gently kisses your skin and often sticks to you ever so slightly.
3) I love watching the plants come back to life in the spring.
4) I love listening to my daughter sing.
5) I am always on the lookout for beauty and I find it in unsuspecting places.
6) I really love Colombian coffee in the morning.
7) I love swimming in water that is rich in lifeforms. I am instantly connected.
8) I love the fact that my wife was also my childhood girlfriend.
9) I love the freedom I feel when I run outdoors.
10) I love listening to music all the time.

I miss...

1) I miss my parents living 3 miles away. They have been in Florida for a long time.
2) I miss my grandparents, especially my grandfather.
3) I miss my ability to hear the nuances of my wife's voice.
4) I miss being able to read without glasses.
5) I miss my daughter when she is away at college.
6) I miss my former colleagues at some of the places I have worked.
7) I miss the beaches of St. John.
8) I miss playing organized sports. I am a coach but it is not the same.
9) I miss my deceased friends.

I despise...(Perhaps fear is another word that works)

1) I despise mean hateful people.
2) I despise politics.
3) I really despise the media. I do not trust them.
4) I despise all the pain and suffering that goes on in the world.
5) I despise the Television.
6) I despise self righteous people.
7) I freak out when there is no music at a party. Silence kills.
8) I am afraid of most organized religion.

Most precious to me are my friends, family, faith and health...

You are loved.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

A** kicked by a girl

2011-03-11T10:34:00.004-05:00

Ass Kicked by a girl? Is that even possible?

Welcome to America my friends where anything and everything is possible. This post is for you.

One of the things I love about this country is that men and women are on equal footing, at least the way I see it.

I will certainly get my ass kicked by girls running past me during the Shamrock 8k on the 19th. Lots of fast chickies and hens will run past me. This is what is has come to...My daughter is faster than I am now. Hooray!

If you play the wrong girl in tennis, she is going to crush you. I know girls who can throw fast pitch baseball/softball that you cannot hit. Volleyball? Watch out! Soccer? Watch out. Basketball? Watch out. Watch out for EVERYTHING!!!

I have even had my ass kicked racing go-carts with girls.

Everyone keeps coming back to American Football. They say girls can't compete at the Collegiate level and above. The sport is so over rated it isn't funny.

Hot tip for you guys. Most of you can't either....in fact, there are girls who would make it farther along than you would.

My wife is more educated. My daughter is more talented. My sister? well, she is my sister and she can kick my ass in bowling so there we have it.

Are we different? Sure.

I am not biased in my opinion. These are the facts as I see them.

Ladies, you can do anything I can do and in many cases you can do it better.

I'm man enough to admit it.

Step up!

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Computer Glitches

2011-03-09T10:22:00.004-05:00

Holy cow!

Pardon the interruption. I have been away because this blasted computer decided to go on the fritz. You are going to laugh but I use several different computers for different tasks.

This computer is the one I use to write in my journal, Ipod, Web browse, email and of course Nurse Ratchet does her homework on it.

Monday morning at 8:30 am it decided to give up the ghost. Anyhow, I have re-installed the operating system and am digging my way back through partitioned files.

I'm smart enough to have backed up all my files. Hell, I have almost 60,000 music files alone. Picture files? I keep them stored in backup hard drives and I even have those hard drives backed up.

I managed to lose all of my email contacts in Outlook for the moment. Fortunately, I keep them backed up in an old Palm organizer. I also have a gmail account which is looking better and better all the time. I worry it could go kaput like Journalspace did a few years ago.

I have a pretty sprawled out desk but for heaven's sake I have FOUR computers running on my desk right now.

YES, I have to have two of them for work. NUTS!!!

I use an extra one for streaming quotes and the news services that I have to watch.

Just out of curiosity, do any of you know what I do for a living?

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Winds of change

2011-03-04T11:22:00.005-05:00

I am not a fan of crowded beaches. They make me insane. Outerbanks of NC 2009...

We rented our vacant house yesterday. When it comes to closing deals or signing contracts I drop everything and get these things done instantly. It was only open for two weeks which is a great turn around in this economy.

Mabel sits down with the new tenant and reads the contract to them aloud (and explains what things mean) and has them initial everything. She is really good about finishing up when it comes to contracts. She should be, she will have her doctorate in May.

Real estate is a pain in the neck at times. On the bright side I make an extra 2800 bucks a month after most expenses and get a big depreciation write off on my taxes. When I retire and have them paid off I will be thrilled because my take down will improve by 1624 bucks a month. I keep thinking I could use four more and if the spread would cooperate I would buy some. I'm always open to the idea.

Changing gears....

I have been working on a website for my business. I have so many hoops to jump through it isn't even funny...I have also been working on a few marketing campaigns. I have a fellow (Who is hilarious and a great speaker) speaking to a group of people about Social Security (everyone pays into it yet nobody talks about it) toward the end of the month. I expect to see around 50-100 people. Lots of interest.

Mabel is overwhelmed with taxes and school. She got the job as a provider at some of the local clinics as a Provider and is happy yet nervous. It is a six figure job if she works full time.

I call this a "quality" problem. This just means we have to play more defense on our taxes. You can make a ton of money BUT it disappears very quickly if you do not defend yourself properly against taxes legally.

No vacation in sight. My sister is having a baby at the end of June and we need to be available for her for the first several weeks or so although I think she will be fine.

Changing gears...

I spoke with my Serbian Daughter Sanjice yesterday. She turns 30 on the 10th of March. Not employed and no boyfriend. She has an interview on Monday but she was feeling very depressed. She is a lawyer and is also very beautiful and smart. She tells me the men in her country are pigs...Most Serbian men are chauvinistic and she hates that after seeing how things are in this country.

Tonight we have a band playing at the clubhouse. I have played with all of them except the bass player ( a girl) who plays an upright bass and is in the Symphony so she is totally legit.

I have a lot on my plate this weekend. Kelly is coming home and I am looking forward to her visit.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Peace,

Bobby

Where old Elephants go to die.

2011-03-01T10:30:00.003-05:00

Mid life is an absolute pain in the ass. My wife explains to me that when we hit 50 we will be considered "young elderly". Nice. I will be 47 this month so don't take me off your list just yet.

I don't know about you but I'm here to tell you I did not sign up for this. Not at all.

Workouts for us have evolved. We have to change every workout just to stay in shape because our old bodies have figured out our routines. I am at it 5-6 days a week. I lift weights on days that I run. Swimming? Come swim 60-100 laps with me and we will assess what you might have in the tank afterwards.

God knows how long I will continue to run races although I have told everyone I'm going to run them until my 70's. In other words 23 more years...Not long.

I know countless athletes who swim. I see them in the pool two to three times a week. Many are scarred and broken from years of athletics on dry land. My wife has become one of them. Her high level Field hockey days have finally taken a toll on her hips. She is lucky to get one run in a week any longer. Still she walks on days off and lifts weights....

Are we giving up? Oh no. Not at all. We are digging in!

I am going to state this for the record.

We use the pool to get in great cardiovascular shape but you and I both know what it really means.

The pool is a place where old Elephants like us go to die.

I am fortunate enough to recognize I still have my friends, family, faith and health.

You sure as hell can't write a billion dollar check for good health. I will not take it for granted.

This summer we will swim our time in the bay. Oh joy!

"Restless Soul, enjoy your youth" - Eddie Vedder

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Happy Birthday Mom

2011-02-25T10:25:00.004-05:00

Constance (my mother) you can call her Connie came screaming into this world 72 years ago today.

She was the first born baby of Ranton and Mary Lou.

Mom grew up all over the State of North Carolina as her father was a Free Will Baptist minister. I know her favorite places to live were on the coastal parts of North Carolina.

Mom graduated from East Carolina University and eventually went into teaching school for 40 years. My parents moved to South Eastern Virginia after both landing teaching jobs in the early 60's.

My mother is very insightful, kind, caring and resourceful. She is a fantastic human being. To know her is to love her.

Mom still plays the piano for the church choir. I cannot remember a day where she didn't play and sing. I 100% guarantee she is the earliest and most influential musician to ever grace this planet for me.

My parents have both since retired and currently reside in Bradenton, FL. It is no secret that my mom wants to come back here. My father? Too selfish to let her. They have missed out on a lot for all of her children/grandchildren live here.

Still, we manage to see them for several weeks at a time when they come back.

You see her reflection in me rather often.

Me - Mom, what are you going to do today for your birthday?

Mom - I'm going to go to the beach for awhile and then I think I'll come home and play the piano. Perhaps we will stop in at the pier and have a nice little dinner later.

Me - That is wonderful day mom.

Sounds like someone else you know doesn't it?

She is in the twilight of her life and I miss her very much.

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Return to regularly scheduled programming.

2011-02-22T13:57:00.004-05:00

The corner of our Galley Style Kitchen.

The good - I have been playing in two bands. My (really our band) and as a hired gun in another. From a chops perspective I love coming in as a hired gun. I have learned 30 new songs in the last 2 weeks. 30 more to go!!!!

- I have been an exercising maniac. So, what could be good about that? My cardiologist is cutting back on my blood pressure medication. My goal is to be free from taking Cardizem in another 6 months or so.

- My wife graduates with her Doctor of Nursing Practice in May. She has a great job (one she has always wanted) waiting for her in May. I am forever thankful to see this chapter of her life (education) come to a close. I have one less tuition payment to make!!!

- Working for my new company (a year ago this weekend) has been the best thing that has happened to me since I have been in the brokerage business.

- My baby sister (Holly) is pregnant and the baby is a girl. I am almost always the favorite relative and I certainly am looking forward to knowing my new niece.

The not so good - Ha! Always the pendulum swings both ways. Being a hired gun in a band means you really aren't part of the band. I'm not as available for gigs so they are going to use me when they have gigs of significance and/or their other guitar player cannot make a show.

Exercising maniac - Yes, I have discovered that I have a little arthritis. It isn't a big deal but I do notice it. Shhhh..Don't tell anyone.

Nurse Ratchet - She is interested in Medical Politics and is vary passionate about the subject. I DESPISE politics.

Nurse Ratchet hates getting older. She is almost 47 and already post menopausal. I know...Too much information. Lots of health risks associated with early menopause. Mabel and I exercise together all the time. I like to keep my eye on her. She is my best friend you know.

My father is getting a little senile and it frightens me. I want them to come back home and move away from Florida. I never wanted them to move in the first place.

One of my rental houses is vacant. I'm picky (from a credit standpoint) so it takes about 12 applicants before I find someone who can rent from me...the number once was 7 applicants. The economy has been very unkind to a lot of people.

I look at the positive parts of my life and realize I am very blessed.

I also recognize nothing is perfect or worry free.

Have you ever just wanted time to stand still for just a little bit?

Sometimes I do...

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Read Icculus

2011-02-18T14:01:00.004-05:00

I would be a walking zombie if anything ever happened to my girls.

*Whew* what a week.

Here is a synopsis. I get a call from my daughter that her room mate has threatened to stab all of the other girls in their apartment. The young lady suffers from a series of mental disorders and needs help. Smart girl but she is not stable presently. She had homicidal/suicidal ideation with a plan.

Anyhow, there was a big investigation into the ordeal. The roommates all had to meet with the dean along with a few other people who heard her talking like this. The girls were tipped off by one of their guy friends who lives in their apartment complex. What a fiasco. I admire that young man. He had the balls to speak out.

She (the hostile roommate) has been ordered to vacate the apartment this Sunday. The rest of the girls have been ordered to not be there when she moves.

Mabel went to DC Wednesday night to facilitate the endeavor.

Kelly comes home tonight. She is freaked out beyond words.

I hope that the young lady in question can get the help she needs and move on with her life. She is very ill and needs the love and guidance that her family can provide.

The worst part of this whole ordeal? Kelly considered her to be a best friend. Kelly feels guilty that she *rolled* on her friend.

I told Kelly that doing the right thing rarely goes rewarded.

In speaking out they potentially saved the lives of everyone. Imagine reading about this on the news...

Hopefully, this is the end of the story.

I do not know what is to become of this young lady. I hope she gets help.

Life is precious.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Melancholy?

2011-02-15T12:25:00.006-05:00

Frisco Beach Hatteras Island. Perhaps the calmest water on the Atlantic side of Hatteras Island.

"Learn to like your own company so that when you are alone you are never lonely" - Ranton Haywood Jackson

I hear about it from time to time with many of my friends and family.

For some folks it can be a real difficult thing to endure. I wish I knew what to say for I have not experienced the feeling many times in my life.

I truly do not know what the hell I'm talking about. I know it must be painful.

Folks, I have been with the same girl since I was 17. When our daughter goes through breakups and the like we honestly don't have a really good reference for that kind of pain in our own life experience.

Watching many of our friends unravel after being married for so long still comes as a shock.

I often consider what I would do. I do not know. My wife says the ladies would be knocking the door down. Ha! Good thing I have my Sister and my daughter to run them off.

I have always been comfortable doing things alone. My wife and daughter like company on all their endeavors.

I have seen people make some pretty drastic decisions in their life because they were afraid to be alone. I imagine it must be a very powerful negative feeling.

I'm reading your journals (and talking to friends) and listening with my heart. I do not know how it is to walk in your/their shoes. Just know that I will join you on your walk even though I do not fully understand what it is you must feel.

I know I hurt when you hurt.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

The ultimate gift

2011-02-14T10:14:00.006-05:00

These are the best bandmates I have ever had...

I have been with my wife for 30 years.

I know, she was my girlfriend at age 17. We got married when we were both 23.

Twenty years ago today we received a gift that truly changed out lives.

February 14th 2011 my daughter Kelly came into the world.

Our lives have never been the same.

This was the day I learned what true love really was.

I have only cried with tears of joy once in my life. It happened when I held my daughter for the first time. I remember the feeling like it was yesterday.

Love is powerful.

Happy Valentines Day!!!

Peace be with you,

Bobby

On a Maybe?

2011-02-11T14:32:00.007-05:00

Pearl Harbor on our visit...

Almost to the top of the mountain.

I have a friend who is on the track to becoming an Admiral. Being an Admiral is not easy. It is somewhat of a mystery even to those who achieve the rank.

He called me yesterday and spoke about being at a crossroad. Family/Logistics/Financial thoughts going through the poor boy's head. Serving in the military is not like anything you can imagine.

He (And his family) must endure some hardship for him to MAYBE achieve the rank of Admiral. He could punch out right now and get half of his pay for life and pick up a six figure income fairly quickly. Financially, it is a no-brainer.

In 2015 he would be eligible for 75% of his pay, possibly make admiral and again pick up a six figure civilian job somewhere.

So here is the dilemma.

He is on track to become an Admiral although who knows when or if that ever happens. He isn't there yet and it will take some sacrifice from both him and his family.

On one hand he could be home and financially better if he left today.

On the other hand, he will ALWAYS wonder if he could have ever made Admiral should he leave today.

A colossal decision folks. Making Flag Officer is a big honor.

What did I tell him?

Regret is a bitch. We all live "on a maybe" every day of our lives.

I'll never be up for Admiral. Do it for yourself because you can't come this far just to walk away.

You will secretly wonder if you don't try....

In the meantime, he will be away from his family for 18 months, although he can drive or fly from the Pentagon to see them on some weekends. I would expect him to be reassigned after this tour. The possibility exists he would be away from his family even more.

All on a maybe...

What would you do?

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Characters

2011-02-10T13:51:00.004-05:00

Me, my dog and my girlfriend.

You know we all have a bunch of characters in our lives. The human condition is so fascinating. I am so grateful that each and every one of my friends are so different. They amuse the hell out of me.

I'll start with your favorite character who is the the subject of this journal. Me of course...

1) I'll visit wineries and drink a glass or two BUT I tell everyone I despise wine. I actually like it and am more of an oenophile than you think. I went to a winery (White Hill in Crozet, VA) last weekend and bought 14 bottles of different stuff. Beer? Micro brew idiot. I have toned it way down to perhaps 3-4 total drinks per week. Fin gave me the high sign on that lifestyle change.

2) Firecrackers? Love the BIG mortars. I let them loose in the middle of the night and it makes my neighbors giggle and or angry depending on the neighbor. The Sheriff usually texts me and asks "Is that all you got?" I bet I have 500 bucks worth in my stash right now. Priorities!!

3) Soccer is my sport. I could go into a big tirade about it but most of you wouldn't get it unless you have immersed yourself into the culture. I'm a midfielder. I love both sides of the ball and especially love the creativity of the attacking game. Pretty upsetting to be almost 47 and all I have left in the tank is coaching.

4) Police- Between Skateboarding as a kid, playing music in bands and 4 wheelin' in forbidden places I have seen and most likely know every cop from here to Ocracoke. I'm the one in the bunch who talks with the police.

5) Sensitive? You know, I am sensitive but I'll be damn if I let you see that in 3d. I curse a LOT so it throws many people off the trail in terms of my real makeup. I have a lot of social intellect in some areas and absolutely suck at figuring out what ladies think 99% of the time. Love 'em a lot and understand them very little is a good motto for me.

6) I am afflicted with the gift of music. I play all the time. I practice or play when I wake up, I play at lunch and generally will play sometime in the evening. I have friends who get treated as outlaws in their own homes for playing music. F**k That!!! I have ALWAYS had a guitar in every office of mine. I will not be relegated to the garage EVER... Nurse Ratchet explains to her friends that I was like this before we met and she accepts/loves it. Ask her about that at 1am on a Tuesday night. Whenever the muse strikes us my dear.

7) I could live in hot weather on the beach the rest of my life. I love everything about it down to sharks and jellyfish. Fascinating. Eternal summer is heaven for me.

8) I look for the good in most everything and everyone. Strangely, everyone seems to react to me in a very positive manner.

9) My Undergraduate degree is in Biology. I have 9 hours to complete my Masters although I suppose I would have to start from Scratch. I graduated College in 1987 and worked on my Master's for a year. No worries; I'm not going into the Environmental Science field in my lifetime...

10) The most powerful force in my life is love.

My wife hasn't completely figured me out after 30 years (Courtship and marriage) so take this as a small snapshot.

Thank you for your friendship.

Peace,

Bobby

Stuff

2011-02-08T14:26:00.005-05:00

Picture of the best Valentines Day present EVER!!! My daughter will be 20 on February 14th. I have never been able to top this gift. Why try?

Everyone goes through periods of life when they feel uninspired. I tend to find different inspirations for different seasons.

I overheard my Canadian Friends talking about how much they like "Seasons". I like seasons too although I like to skip the crummy ones. I'll trade any season you want for an endless summer.

This winter hasn't been bad. We have been running, swimming (Indoors) and lifting weights like animals. I have also been skiing a couple of times and had a bunch of fun in the mountain house. Think visiting wineries and exploring new worlds kinda fun...sounds boring but this can be quite an adventure.

You like Spring? My mind WANDERS to the summer all the time. Skip Spring. Put me directly in touch with Summer. Oh, the flowers are blooming? Wait till Summer, we are just getting warmed up...

You like Fall? Great, you can have mine. I'll send you an extra dead leaf and a pumpkin just for good measure. Fall is like death to me. It means hurricane season and that those pesky Australians stole my summer.GIVE IT BACK!!!

Summer...It can't get here fast enough.

Of course I can find the good in all seasons. I just have one favorite. Summer lasts almost 6 months here and it is coming soon.

Say hi to your mom for me. I'll bet she feels the same way I do.

Peace,

Bobby

Power

2011-02-03T13:29:00.007-05:00

Snow tubing is a pursuit for drunks...just sayin'...

Running your business.

I recently read on another journal that "money equals power". Perception is a big part of reality so I have recently pondered this statement.

I have always believed it is our responsibility to be as successful as possible so that we can share it with our family and friends. Not directly as in me giving you money either.

Come to the beach? Yep, I got it. Extreme 4 wheelin, drinkin' and fireworks? Yep, I got it. Cookout? Yep, I got it. Go skiing or stay in the Blue Ridge mountains? I got that too...Surfing? Wherever you want to go locally... I got it. Band practice? Got it... Boat ride? Got it...need practice space for sandsoccer? Got that too and I have the knowledge to make you a champion.

There is a boomerang effect here folks. You have to be successful too. I insist. I don't do well if you aren't doing well. I'm dead serious.

If we all do well and share, it means we have LOTS of fun stuff to do everywhere. All kinds of crazy places to visit as well...

I expect the best from you in everything that you do. You have a dream? I'm buying into it.

But power?

I am the breadwinner. I don't view it as power however. Whatever we make minus our expenses just means that we have more to save or invest. We share everything. My earnings and investments make us money but I don't view it as "mine" in so much that I view it as "ours". It all goes to the Fijufic Corporation ultimately. My wife is a very capable professional and she adds to the hive quite nicely.

You see, I am part of a team. We would not be where we are without the help of each other. We started with nothing.

We don't even have a car we call "mine" or "yours". Both are garage kept and spotless so drive the one you feel like driving that particular day.

Call it Capitalism with a communist twist.

My friends are Generals, Admirals, Doctors, Lawyers, Engineers, Presidents, Owners, Artists, Musicians, Fishermen, Hard working folks and the occasional Drug Addict.

We play a part in our own as well as each others successes. We are responsible for the less fortunate in our community.

Power? I don't see it.

I see my success as a responsibility I have to my family, friends and community. I am just another cog in the big machine of mankind.

Put another way. Just because I make more or less than you do means absolutely nothing.

Focus on your friends, family, faith (it can be anything from God to science) and health and you will find success along your journey.

Power? It is a mirage.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Weirdness on Facebook

2011-01-31T12:37:00.006-05:00

Picture of a picture. This is my wife (Then High school Sweetheart) at age 18. She was an attendant of a very important NATO festival we celebrate here every year.

Ha, I am sometimes amused by facebook. The personal message vibe can be kind of funny.

As I have mentioned in my previous posts I am about the last guy to know when someone is putting the *blast* on me.

My old friends little sister (got that?) friend requested me on facebook. No big deal. I'm always open. She messages me a few times and I always message back. Are you married, how old is your daughter etc, kind of questions...To me these are normal. Then she goes on this big tirade how difficult it is to find a good man and I must be lucky to have been married for so long. Uhhh sure...okay. Perhaps we can help you in your search?

My brother explains to me that she has had a crush on ME since High School. Yep, I am always the last to know. I just found out at age 46. Ha, talk about a delayed reaction. I am *that* dumb....

I'm flattered of course. She is my type. Beautiful, smart and athletic. The mind wanders of course.

What am I going to do about it?

Why, there is nothing more to this story.

I simply run into the arms of my beloved like I have since I was 17.

We all get tempted.

So, how do I deal with temptation?

"Run like hell" - Pink Floyd

Peace be with you,

Bobby

The color and shape

2011-01-25T13:11:00.004-05:00

Hawksnest Beach St John USVI March 2007

Tuesday -

Time flies when you are busy. Like many of you I do not enjoy the winter although I will confess to liking winter sports in moderation.

Kelly has started singing and playing guitar with a music group up in Northern Virginia. I have told her that it makes plenty of sense to jam with musicians that are her age.

We have a lady coming in to sing with us this Thursday. She has incredible vocals and plays the guitar fairly well. We split time at an acoustic gig during a Christmas fundraiser. The guys in the band already are talking about having her go to the "Dark Side" which in real terms means more rockin' , movin' and grooving kinda stuff...I know she can pretty much sing anything she wants.

I still prefer Kelly for obvious reasons.

Changing gears...

Last year at this time I was whacked out of my mind. I honestly contemplated suicide. I don't mean the kind where you wish you were dead, but an actual plan. I even practiced what I would do.

What stopped me? Hmmm....

Well, knowing that it would crush my daughter and all my friends and family made a big impact.

Suicide is not something I wanted to leave for my daughter.

What brought me to that point?

Fear of losing everything once I changed from my old firm to my current firm. I swear I had terrible doubts.

Looking back this change was the best thing that ever happened to me. From a financial perspective I have never been so blessed. From a job satisfaction perspective I have never been happier...

What scares me is that I would never have known if I simply gave up.

As for now I am going to savor each and every day.

Thank you for letting me share this with you.

I nearly lost you.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Kryptonite

2011-01-18T14:40:00.006-05:00

This is Crystal. I'll have to revisit my guitars sometime and tell you how each of them were named.

Want to kill me?

It isn't hard.

Here is the recipe...

1) Plug your guitar (it could be any guitar) into a solid state all inclusive effects processor. Plug that processor into any amplifier and turn them both on...

2) Start playing.

Nothing and I mean NOTHING kills me worse than horrible tone. I don't care if you nail every note in the tune; if your tone sucks than please stop playing (for my sake and sanity).

Don't know what I am talking about? I know some folks are tone deaf...

It is like an Ice pick to the forehead.

Making faces is my only defense... Carry on.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Friday

2011-01-14T14:57:00.006-05:00

Sometimes I forget my two favorite warclubs are over 20 years old. Jenny on the left and Marie on the right.

What? Already time for a 3 day weekend?

What the hell just happened to my week?

Where did the time go?

I know I was sick... I continued to grind through the week.

I'm NOT going to the mountain this weekend. What was I thinking? I have to swim laps tonight. Run and lift tomorrow, Jam session and then who knows what else?

I have talked enough smack to my friends about the upcoming Shamrock race to last me a lifetime...Talking Smack motivates everyone to train harder. We are already talking smack about the biathlon and the upcoming Sprint triathlons. Folks...I'm getting old and slowing down but don't tell my friends.

Nurse Ratchet has class all day tomorrow....Yuk, on a Saturday. I'll guarantee you that I will NEVER receive my doctorate.

Hope you enjoy the three day weekend.

See you Tuesday!!!

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Jury Duty

2011-01-13T10:45:00.006-05:00

Yo-Yo on the patio last summer. We all sat outside and had lunch.

Ha!!!

My wife is on the Jury Duty list from HELL!!

She has been summoned for jury duty 4 times in the last 4 years. She has already served as a juror 3 times in her life so the "Civic Duty" speech doesn't apply.

Anyhow, she goes ballistic every time she gets a summons. I try not to laugh but I can't help it.

I don't know why she gets all stressed out.

I know "The Man".

I pick up the phone; describe her problem and *poof* she doesn't have jury duty any longer.

Why get all stressed out?

There is a catch of course.

I will be bringing "The Man" a nice bottle of Scotch (YUK!) this weekend and watch a little football with him while we tell a few lies.

Childhood friends?

They are priceless.

Just remember the pendulum swings both ways. Life is a 2 way street.

You owe it to yourself and your friends to be successful just in case you/they need a favor.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Jan 12th 2011

2011-01-12T16:58:00.003-05:00

Ocracoke July 2010....

I have had a mild case of the Flu.

When I am sick for some awful reason (which I cannot decipher) I am like a money making machine. Something has got to give so my posting tends to suffer.

No worries, my work day is over.

I'm going to lay down for a bit.

I'll have to pass on swimming tonight..

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Killing Tme

2011-01-07T11:06:00.004-05:00

I am a restless soul when it comes to music.

I tend to play the guitar and sing all the time. Sometimes I'll work on the drums and sometimes I'll work on the bass. Last night I dreamed about playing the saxophone. No, I don't play one but trust me I could do it easily.

Anyhow, I get a call from some fellow who heard through the grapevine that I am a singer. I am a singer but in my band I am 3rd on the totem pole.

I don't give a s**t where you put me as a guitarist however and it will be rare if I'm not 1st on the totem pole at all times. This just happens to be my instrument of expression.

Friends who know me also know I like to be the only guitarist in a band. I will accommodate my daughter however. She has a lovely voice and can rip a guitar pretty hard. She has been working in the woodshed (Studio) on her chops. The rest of our band is off the hook in terms of talent. Our bass player and drummer are local heroes from the 80's and Early 90's. Playing with those guys is an honor. They all sing and play.

Back to the point.

I'm going to meet some new folks and sing. I'm bringing my guitar, mike and amp and I told him I know a couple of chords...HA!!

What is my point?

Ahhh...

There is a fine line between confidence and being cockiness.

You will never succeed in anything without confidence. Once you have achieved a high level of success you may very well become cocky.

I have to remind myself to be humble at times. I get all jacked up every time I pick up my guitar.

*Switching gears*

I'm headed for the mountain after work today. Ski season is in full bloom.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Happiest Gift Ever?

2011-01-05T14:53:00.008-05:00

The one hanging on the right hand side in my home studio. Taken Dec 2010.

My happiest gift ever?

My daughter. This is a distant second however.

Hmmm...

Long Story made short... My wife got wind that I had been playing a one off Fender Custom Shop Stratocaster. I had been on a 2 year quest for the holy grail of Strats and had played through 50 or so of the things. This one was Chartreuse Sparkle but had TONE for days...It is the real deal.

Anyhow, I told her about it and she made a call behind my back. When I returned to purchase the thing the owner told me it had been sold.

*Crushed* *Stunned* *Dismayed*

Two months later my wife comes rolling into my office on my birthday with a Fender Guitar Case and proclaims to my assistant that she is taking me out for lunch and that I would most likely not return for the day...

What was in the case? It was *that* guitar.

She (The Strat) was born August 26,1994 in Fender's Custom shop. You will not find another one like her for she is a "One Off" custom build.

I came into her possession March 27th 1995. My 31st Birthday.

I have played her several times a week ever since. My daughter cannot put it down either.

The gift that keeps on giving.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

January 4th 2011

2011-01-04T12:54:00.005-05:00

The kid at Christmas 2010. She gets plenty of help opening her gifts from our pets...

*Whew*

Year end blew through like a freight train.

We are Still digging out from under the excessive Christmas Decorations. In fact, Nurse Ratchet cracked the pull down staircase that leads to our attic. I either get to fix it or replace it. I wasn't looking forward to doing anything of the sort. GRRR!!!!!

New Years Resolutions? Are you kidding me? I don't have any resolutions. I'm happy with pretty most everything in my life at the present.

I guess we can go over the 4 or 5 main categories however.

Friends - I am blessed with friendship in abundance. The list keeps on growing.

Family - Well, my father is declining but overall I haven't taken any big losses this year.

Faith - I'm comfortable in my quest for knowledge. Tons of Charity work to be done. Exciting stuff.

Health - Sure, I'm slowing down but exercise keeps my functional age much lower than my *actual* age. Nothing crazy on the horizon I hope.

Money - *really shouldn't be included* I am happy to report another record year of revenue after 2 flat years. I'm very fortunate to have made my own luck. I love what I do so there you have it...

Ronin - (My daughter) Splitsville with her boyfriend. Her resolution? To date guys her family likes...He hurt her feelings for the last time.

Nurse Ratchet -Finishes her doctorate in May. I just stroked her last tuition check!!! Getting your Doctorate is expensive; I don't care what they tell you....

Pretty soon the mail will read Dr. & Mr. Fijufic.

My sister is uber pregnant. I will be an Uncle for a second time and let me tell you Uncle Bobby likes to have fun. I already know your name kid. You are on my list!!!

I'm looking forward to the adventures of 2011.

Stay Tuned.

Peace,

Bobby

Year End Craziness

2010-12-29T14:12:00.003-05:00

Christmas Day 2010

Hi all,

The last week of the year is almost ALWAYS my busiest in terms of tax planning. I'm up to my ears in alligators. My ability to post something worth reading has departed.

Christmas was lovely. We had 16 inches of snow grace us on Christmas Day. My friends and family are in good spirits.

Looking back - 2010 was full of big changes.

Looking forward - 2011 will be smashing.

Enjoy each and every day!

Happy New Year!

Peace,

Bobby

Merry Christmas

2010-12-23T10:39:00.002-05:00

Me, mom and my brother at my sister's house Christmas 2009.

May the Spirit of Christmas be with you and those you love.

Merry Christmas!

Bobby

Just thoughts

2010-12-21T10:24:00.006-05:00

Nurse Ratchet roams the beach near our home January 2009.

You know, I have never been one to seek out touristy destinations.

Yes, I know the beach can be touristy. What you sometimes forget to realize is that the beach can also be very secluded. Nothing says "Holy Schnike" like a wild horse rolling up on you while you are on the beach.

Disney, Seaworld, etc....Those places would be out of business if it were up to me. Dolphins and Whales are self-aware like us. If you want to see them then get outside and visit them in their natural habitat.

Yes, I feel this way about the zoo and Circus as well although I am certain that Cetaceans (Dolphins/Whales) are as bright as any animals you will encounter on the planet.

Anyway that whole dolphin/killer whale trade thing burns me up to no end. Simply Awful.

We see dolphins all the time. You never know when a pod will decide to show up. Some pods are social and some are bashful. Nothing says "WOW" like surfing with them. Admittedly when they arrive it sends a jolt of adrenaline through my system because I'm always thinking *Shark*.

Anyhow, I think my message has been lost.

Get outdoors and enjoy things for what they really are. You don't have to go far. Make your own path.

May the Spirit of Christmas be with you and those you love!

Peace,

Bobby

Winter weather

2010-12-17T12:51:00.005-05:00

Dec 16th 2010 from my front porch. I'm dreaming of a White Christmas. I haven't seen snow on the ground for Christmas since my early childhood.

Hmmm...

We get hit with an inch or two of snow and the whole area goes crazy. Almost 400 reported wrecks. I can't imagine how many unreported wrecks were had...

NOTHING is scarier than driving in the snow with a bunch of Southerners. They will kill you.

Most folks from these parts do not know how to drive in this stuff.

Almost ready for Christmas. Just a few more presents to buy.

My daughter returns home for a month next Monday.

My friends and family are all around me.

"Once you open the door to one person, anyone can come in..." - from the movie about a boy

Thank you for sharing my life.

May the Spirit of Christmas be among you and those you love.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

The cover

2010-12-15T10:54:00.005-05:00

Hurricane off the coast of Hatteras Island. You would not survive in that water.

I am often stunned at what other people actually think of me at times.

Am I a heathen? The very definition of heathen means not one of the big three. Not Christian, Jewish or Muslim.

Looking at my cover again aren't you? Go ahead, I understand. I recognize people will size you up very quickly and make all kinds of wild assumptions about you. I'm not immune to this behavior either.

I understand most Catholic and Protestant denominations very well.

I understand Orthodox and Reform Judaism.

I understand Conservative, Innovative and Liberal Islam.

Of course we can walk down the Shinto or Hindu road if you care to take a peek under the hood.

In an effort to find a path to my maker I think it is only fair to walk down several paths.

You don't have to walk them of course. We are free to believe whatever we believe.

I'm not afraid. I do not feel guilty. I know many pray for me.

The very definition of insanity is to do something over and over again and expect a different result.

What if we removed all of those books and schools of thought?

I think the truth will be all that remains.

What if none of these things existed? What would you believe?

You can go one of two ways. Study everything or start from scratch.

I'll see you on the path....

Peace,

Bobby

Let the Music play

2010-12-08T13:23:00.007-05:00

The sins of the father passed on to his daughter... Chicks that rock rule the planet.

Almost every place has a music scene of some sort. I suspect music is a very cultural thing. I get the creeps when I go to silent places.

Have you ever been to a great party where there was NO music? Maybe but I doubt it.

I'm looking forward to playing on Sunday. Playing and singing with an acoustic guitar is okay but just isn't fulfilling like a real band.

I sometimes miss my old band days. I think my band mates do as well.

It really is very special to have such great musicians in your own band. We push the living heck out of each other when we focus on a project. Some of the crazy stuff Steve and Joe do is simply amazing.

I sing most all of our stuff although I would consider myself third man out of three in terms of who is the "best" singer. Don't ask me why I do most of the singing. It is a mystery to me.

My daughter is on hiatus while in college. She does jam with her college buddies.

I don't like playing without my band so they are going to show up (Along with another load of musicians) and listen to me on Sunday. Call it co-dependence if you will. This is going to be huge. My parents are even coming. My friends? Yep. I even hear about it in the gym.

This post is going nowhere.

I guess what I am saying is that I am grateful to have such a wonderful gift.

I hope you find yours....

Peace be with you,

Bobby